KELL on Earth Episode Dos

A NOTE: I am tardy for the party! So sorry to be a week late. I actually had this all ready to go last week, but I pushed "save" instead of "post" and held back the conversation Michelle and I had about Kell last week! If you're behind on your DVR, or remember last week's show, join in. I promise to be better about this week's episode!

So, Alex told me I should have some sort of byline warning you when I'm going to be going on and on about pop culture. We'll be trying a few out. Let me know what you think. The one above reminds me of The Situation, so I like it a lot.

Anyway, I'm sitting down with my Bravo-loving pal Michelle Verdugo from Design Evolution to chat about Kell on Earth. You know, I think I need a little byline thingee where I photoshop Michelle and I having a chat. That should take me about two years to whip up.

Anyway, back to Kell. It heated up this week as we saw just how incompetent Jessica Vorhees is, how easy it is to be fired by the only American courturier (no idea how to spell that word), and well, really, that's all that happened. I'm pretty disappointed so far. I mean, Rachel Zoe only had like two employees but somehow someone having to open up FedEx boxes became highly entertaining on that show! Yet seating disasters on this show are kind of a snore.

Although it ended in Kelly's firing, the Chado Ralph Rucci fashion show was the most beautiful fashion show I've seen since I watched Valentino: The Last Emporer. He seemed like he had a big stick up his bum, but the man is extremely talented!

BECKY: The seating assignment snafu: I still say it was "portrait" vs. "landscape" - how is someone not able to print out a seating assignment?

MICHELLE: And the list saga continues into this weeks episode.  I can't believe what a disaster this has become.  If they really couldn't get the list to print (Page Setup -> Format -> Landscape) wouldn't a not so desirable but possible alternative be to just copy or retype the list into an excel spreadsheet and print it out.

BECKY: That was the best fashion show I've seen since Valentino: The Last Emporeror. Way better than the last Chanel show!

MICHELLE: While watching the show I knocked Rucci's collection and jotted in my notes that DVF probably deserved to be on the cover of Women's Wear Daily because he was such a prissy bitch but after looking at the stills of the collection I realize I was totally wrong.  Bad attitude or not that was a really beautiful runway show.  I just couldn't deal with him pacing around back stage mumbling about how he couldn't deal with all the press being backstage.  Isn't that the point of having a runway show?

BECKY: I know. If you're rude to the editors, they are going to put someone like Diane on their covers instead! Talk about biting the hand that feeds you!

So, as for the seating problems being "beyond Kelly's control" what did you think? I didn't get that - I thought it was all her fault. How was it not? Because people sat in the wrong seats on purpose?

MICHELLE: I don't get it.  At the end of the day, the RSVP's and seating assignments were one of her company's main responsibilities when it came to the Chado Ralph Rucci show.  The client could care less about your computer problems they just want you to do the job they hired you for.  I'll channel the beloved Tim Gunn here, "Make it Work, Kelly!" Did I catch them seating Andre Leon Tally and Martha Stewart together?  And why is Martha getting front row at a show? I know she was a model 30 years ago but it looks like her entire wardrobe comes from the Land's End catalog.

BECKY: That's hilarious - in fact, I've seen her daughter make fun of her clothes on "Whatever Martha"! Martha is pretty A-List though, I guess! I guess she doesn't really include the glue gun and the Bedazzler when it comes to fashioning her wardrobe.

"Fashion shows are like guerilla theater - I loved that!"

MICHELLE: I did too and it's so true!  They are such a small amount of time to pull all of the necessary pieces and players together to produce the show. 

BECKY: When she got fired she slammed that phone down like she was Stephanie Pratt!

MICHELLE: Did you catch that look that Kelly shot the camera when somewhere who worked for Ralph Rucci came up to her at the end of the to tell her he wasn't happy.  They didn't film the interaction after that, WTF?! I know it's embarrassing to Kelly but that's the real dirt we want to see.

BECKY: Oh yeah! I wonder if having reality cameras was kind of the breaking point for them in firing her. She never even mentioned what went down after that, which was lame.

So, onto GENETIC DENIM, which I've never heard of!:

BECKY: What's your take on "jeggins" (jean/leggings)

MICHELLE: The term "jeggings" makes throw up a little in my mouth.

BECKY: Stephanie Vorhees was a finance major. First, she doesn't know the difference between 61 cent and 44 cent stamps. Second, one of the gift bags said "FINCIAL DISTRICT" on it! How long do you wager she lasted at that major? I love that this issue came under not being "detail oriented."  Where do you think they are hiring these people?

MICHELLE: Gotta love how Skinner called out Valley Girl Stephanie because her job isn't brain surgery, NEITHER IS PRINTING OUT A LIST! However, I can not believe Stephanie #2 had the nerve to say that no one told which stamp to use on the envelopes. She has to be joking about being a Finance major right? If there are more out there like her perhaps that would explain the recession.

BECKY: When they say "I was a finance major, but..." does that mean they lasted through an Intro to Accounting class or an entire four-year education?

BECKY: So, when Kelly said "this is f*cking war" over gift bags with Sharpie and no tissue, she yells at the interns and then gives them a half hour break. BTW, I'm in love with Irish Tim. How cute is he?

MICHELLE: So cute as are his concerned parents calling from Ireland. Loved that!  Check out what Kelly says about her interns. It sounds like she is to fond of all of them. 

BECKY: The denim willow tree was amazing, but the rain room of Swarovski crystals turned to out to be dangerous for light-headed male models! 

MICHELLE: Who new you had to worry about your installation potentially strangling one of you models.   


BECKY: HA! Speaking of strangling/choking, did you see that Vanity Fair guy swallow the crystal in between commercials? that was the funniest thing I've seen all week!

MICHELLE: OMG yes I did!  He thought she was handing him a pill which makes me assume he would consider that totally normal. 

BECKY: So the Genetic Denim presentation was supposed to express that the designer wants people to "have an autoerotic experience when they put on our jeans" - I am wondering if that has ever actually happened to anyone? I mean, if they make my butt look good, it can be a EUPHORIC experience, but autoerotic? I'm not even sure what I want that to mean in this context!

MCHELLE: As much as liked the Genetic Denim viewing I was really hating the designer.  He was so slimy at the model casting and 20 bucks he has no idea what "autoerotic" that means. 


BECKY: I'm not sure I do either! Does it include "Somebody call 911! A model is down!" as part of the experience? I love that she got the ambulance to turn off the lights because they were having a fashion show! She should have had the FDNY strip off their shirts and try on some jeggins!

MICHELLE: These are the situation where Kelly really shines. She handled the sh*t out of that.  Who else would have the nerve to ask the ambulance to turn off their lights because it was ruining the effect of the installation?

BECKY: You're SO right! I thought it would be a lot more of that and a lot less of her boring employees learning how to lick stamps and floOther random thoughts: I wonder if Kelly actually hired Ativan Andrew because she needed someone to do her hair since she never leaves her People's Revolution compound?

MICHELLE: If nothing provides entertainment on this show at least we have Extreme Andrew's ensembles to look forward to every week!  Check it out he posted a DIY on his Bravo blog too funny!


BECKY: Nice find! I need to do some more bravotv.com-ming. I haven't even caught up on my favorite housewife blogs. I think Bethanny jumped over to E! so it's no fun anymore!

 

all photos via bravotv.com