KELL ON EARTH!

There's a KELL ON EARTH and Michelle from Design Evolution and I are in HEAVEN! We realized one of the many things we have in common is that we find Kelly Cutrone hilarious and fascinating, and now there is a show on Bravo called Kell on Earth all about her!

So we are being introduced to a lot tonight - the staff, the house, Kelly's daughter Ava. Kelly is so blunt yet kind underneath that I wish she were my life coach. I'd be writing for Harper's Bazaar and dating some hottie model she threw me at in about two week's time!

Anyway,  I am a bit technologically challenged (I've only IM'd once in my life), so we're chatting back and forth via email while trying to watch it. I'm sure once we get to know everyone over at People's Revolution it will be a lot easier, but right now there are two blonde Stephanies to keep track of! I have to give an extra big thank you to her for joining us, as her usual bedtime is before 11:00!

Becky: Kelly sets the tone by saying, there's "no crying in the office. If you have to cry, go outside!" The funny thing is, everyone winds up calling her a mom/mentor and she's pretty nice.

Michelle: As assumed, TV previews make her sounds like a mega-bitch but the first meeting with her employees shows there is more to it than that.  Love how she told her employees that the most important thing if they feel like crap or are having a sh*tty emotional day is o come back the next day and if she had quit any time she someone said something mean to her she would have been out the biz in two months.

Becky: Alright, let's dish about the cast. First of all, I am SHOCKED that Whitney and Roxy do not REALLY work there! Not! Kelly describes the staff as sort of a Bonanza/Addams Family. 

ANDREW #1(Kelly's assistant, hired from, gasp!, outside People's Revolution. At this point he has received no training and apparently is screwing up the ever-complicated process of logging the RSVPS to Chado Ralph Rucci). He also said "I"m an assistant, I don't even know what's going on"

Um, aren't you supposed to be someone's right hand man? That's kind of the opposite of what an assistant should say!:

Michelle: Oh no, there are two Stephanies and two Andrews. How will we keep them straight?

Becky: We need a nickname for the Goth one.

Michelle: Come hither my raven hair, gothesque, sequined dress wearing assistant. Tell him you have to go, destiny is waiting!  And then he speaks and I'm less interested.  I have used "mad" like that in a sentence since 1994 which I suppose he would think makes him “ironic." I have a nickname for Goth Andrew but m brain isn't working right now. It's someone from and 80s ior ealry 90s band. Maybe it will come to me tomorrow.

Becky: Dead or Alive? Gene Loves Jezebel?

Michelle: I don't know if I ever knew who or what Dead of Alive actually looked like but lets just say the years have not been kind.  Turns out I was actually just trying to think of Extreme. Who it turns out have gotten back together! Check out those mutton chops.


Becky: O.K., We're going to call him Extreme Andrew! I mean, he's going to wear a floor length sequined dress to a fashion show!  I suppose it’s too much to rename Gary Cherone?  I know no one will know what we’re talking about but he does look just like him?

Michelle: Apparently it's from the last season of David Delfine which he thinks makes fabulous, but doesn't that just actually make him so last season?

Becky: At first I thought guys might get a year's grace period, but really, they should be ahead of the seasons.

Michelle: Straight guys get a reprieve, he should know better.  

ANDREW #2 (Andrew S., not sure what he does but he used to be a hairdresser in L.A.)



Becky: He seems to whine and lisp a lot and try to push Ativan on people. What is Ativan? I thought it was for erectile dysfunction or something, but now I'm not sure if it's like Adderall or like Xanax.

Hmmm, there isn't a picture of him on the Meet the Cast part of bravotv.com, so I'm thinking he won't last long.

Michelle: Wow, he’s Snooki tan.  The gays really love them some sedative drugs.   I think we should call him Ativan Andrew from now on.  

STEPHANIE #1 Stephanie Skinner, Kelly's former assistant who has been promoted to whatever position is above that at People's Revolution.

Becky: This girl seems to work hard and care a lot and like she is going to have a nervous breakdown because she cares so much.

Michelle: This RSVP stuff is hilarious to me.  I've gone through this with my brother's production company.  Everyone stresses out about getting it done like it's the hardest thing in the world.  Seriously how hard is it check emails and voicemails and make a list? It took me an hour to organize the RSVP list for his most recent event that everyone was totally freakin' about.
Becky:

Becky: What's up with the printer? CRISIS: SOMETHING WON'T PRINT! Um, OK, why doesn't she just bring her laptop to the show or something? All of the sudden this is turning into Office Space ("what the f is PC LOAD LETTER?!!??!")


Michelle: You know that printing issue probably would have taken 5 minutes to fix.

Becky: How much do you want to bet it's supposed to be set to Landscape and she has it on Portrait????

Anyway, so far Stephanie Skinner seems sweet but is a little boring.

STEPHANIE #2: I don't know her position, gopher? Showroom cleaner? The New York equivalent to Stephanie Pratt? The other Stephanie, Stephanie Vorhees, who also is not on bravotv.com, seems like a ditzy, complaining surfer girl.


Michelle: Get over yourself, you're an intern.  You aren't treated well and you do what you're told, this is not new behavior.  She seems pretty lame, doubt she’ll last in this environment too long.

 Looks like we really don’t have much to say about Stephanie #2. The Verdict: They are both boring.  

THE REST OF THE CAST: 

In other cast news, Robyn and Emily seems like they are fairly high up in the company and simply imitate Kelly all day.  And Robyn wants everyone to know that she is such a hard worker that she sleeps in the showroom.

Well, we're just getting started, but that's the skinny on the main players. We also got to meet Kelly's ADORABLE daughter Ava, and found out that Kelly has five floors of this building, one of which is her home. This is how she manages to not really have a life outside of work but still maintain some family balance. I was dumbfounded by the fact that she is friends with that whore of politicians and media, Ashley Dupre (hello honey, your 15 minutes was up a year ago, stop trying to go to fashion week!), and it produced Michelle's favorite line of the night, regarding the controversey of Ashley sitting front row at a fashion show which resulted in Kelly's firing from that client:

I didn't think it would be a big deal especially since half of the people in the front of a fashion show are sleeping with people for money, except they're just called their wives.

And with that wisdom, we anxiously await next week's episode. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE SHOW?  Come chat with us!


images via bravotv.com