Tuesday, April 26, 2011

J. Crew Wedding Goes Bad

Today I received a J. Crew catalog in the mail and I couldn't help but notice that a lot of their bridesmaid dresses are starting to look really...bridesmaidy. They used to be the one place that provided dresses we had a chance of wearing again, but right now they are looking a whole lot more like something from David's Bridal (that horrible place is tied with JFK airport for the place I hate most on this earth).

Can I get some straps? Some shoulder coverage? Don't they understand that these would look HORRIBLE on 95% of the population? And what's up with the yucky shiny fabrics and bad colors? Any of these choices would go straight in the hotel trashcan right after the wedding, just like the ten other bridesmaid dresses I've had to wear.

She looks like she's wearing a towel:

Bad shimmer + bad color + bad boob bow = Cheap Looking:

This fabric might make for some pretty drapes in a somber room...

I have I mentioned that I am THE WORST bridesmaid ever? I make this fact very well known, yet people keep asking me to be in their weddings. I don't know what the hell they are thinking.


liza said...

After this hilarious post, I definitely think you should report on Friday!

thebubbreport said...

Hi LIza! It's so funny, there's been so much royal coverage I've thought that the wedding was happening for the past two weekends!