TheBubbReport

Flipping Out!

2011-07-07T14:42:00.000-07:00

Hey to my very few readers! I would love to dish about Jeff and Jenni and Zoila...and best of all, GAGE with you! Please come over to the post I wrote on Houzz and chat with me.

Let's Dish! Did You Watch the Flipping Out Premiere?

Houzz- Kitchen Remodels, Bathroom Remodels and More»

Browse Home Office Products on Houzz- For Example:

Cable Management · Task Chairs · Bulletin Board · Desk Accessories · Filing Cabinets And Carts · Desks ·

Gorgeous House on Lake Austin

2011-05-27T14:27:00.000-07:00

This week I had the pleasure of interviewing Mark Cravotta, an interior designer and furniture designer, about this gorgeous house on Lake Austin in Texas. He custom designed a handful of pieces of furniture for the house, as well as a staircase railing, and best of all, he helped the clients curate a diverse collection of works by local artists.

Houzz Tour: Luxurious and Comfortable Lake House

Houzz- Kitchen Design, Bathroom Design and More»

Decorating Ideas and Photos:

Kitchen Remodeling · Bathroom Remodeling · Living Room Remodeling · Bedroom Remodeling · Dining Room Remodeling · Patio Remodeling · Landscaping Remodeling ·

Jay Mohr's Real Housewives of New Jersey Blog

2011-05-26T13:34:00.000-07:00

If you didn't happen to catch Jay Mohr on Watch What Happens Live, you missed out. He's hilarious, and managed to be very gracious to the wreck of O.C. plastic surgery sitting next to him (I forget which one it was, but that could describe a few of them). Well now he's writing a recap blog on Bravo and it's hilarious. Here's just a tiny taste:

Melissa in her interviews continually pounds away at Teresa and Joe. It's hard to take much of what she says seriously, because she is constantly mixing in, "Praise Jesus!" "Praise Jesus!" is a very effective and powerful thing to say, but when you say it at the wrong time, it comes across as kind of creepy. Example: "I was taught to be a wife in the kitchen, a lady public, and a whore in the bedroom. Praise Jesus!"

and:

In the "thank goodness there was no second take department," Melissa praises her husband's "work ethnic." Moments later Joe expresses how much he loves his wife because of her incredible "worth ethic." Outstanding.

and:

Am I the only one noticing that none of the houses on the show are baby-proofed? While getting ready for Giuseppe's christening, Adriana made it down three flights of stairs and brewed herself a pot of coffee.

Way to go Bob Sugar; great recaps so far! Personally, I feel that there is just too much to say while literally sitting here with my jaw on the ground, absolutely speechless after these shows. I'm loving reading Jay's take, it's so much funnier than anything I could come up with myself. I will say I really appreciated the cameraman who shot through this cross while all of the "F*** YOU! I WILL F***ING KILL YOU"s were going on in the background, while grown men tried to kill each other in the middle of the klassiest kristening in the world. Speaking of "classy", I've decided that every time one of these cast members uses the word "class," ~~an angel loses its wings~~ a baby gets its ears pierced.

By the way, I've never seen Jay's act, have you? It's now on my to-do list. Check out his upcoming dates here.

The Bubbs is Coming from a Place of Yes

2011-05-25T13:24:00.000-07:00

The Bubbs is loving Bethenny's new book. She's been hogging it so much I haven't been able to figure out how to come from A Place of Yes yet. However, judging from the intro, she obviously spent about 20 minutes scribbled the book from a Skinnygirl bus or in between Skating with the Stars jumps. Let's hope it gets better, because I'm usually too cheap to buy new hardbacks so I expect a lot.

J. Crew Wedding Goes Bad

2011-04-26T13:57:00.000-07:00

Today I received a J. Crew catalog in the mail and I couldn't help but notice that a lot of their bridesmaid dresses are starting to look really...bridesmaidy. They used to be the one place that provided dresses we had a chance of wearing again, but right now they are looking a whole lot more like something from David's Bridal (that horrible place is tied with JFK airport for the place I hate most on this earth).

Can I get some straps? Some shoulder coverage? Don't they understand that these would look HORRIBLE on 95% of the population? And what's up with the yucky shiny fabrics and bad colors? Any of these choices would go straight in the hotel trashcan right after the wedding, just like the ten other bridesmaid dresses I've had to wear.

She looks like she's wearing a towel:

Bad shimmer + bad color + bad boob bow = Cheap Looking:

This fabric might make for some pretty drapes in a somber room...

I have I mentioned that I am THE WORST bridesmaid ever? I make this fact very well known, yet people keep asking me to be in their weddings. I don't know what the hell they are thinking.

Bethenny Cashes In

2011-04-24T20:58:00.000-07:00

Did you hear a huge explosion earlier? It was Jill Zarin's head exploding, hopefully all over Johnny Weir:

It's estimated that Bethenny sold Skinnygirl Margarita for $120 million dollars. To see the entire article, click here.

Hey Martha Stewart, what did that woman who didn't know how to play Scrabble ever wind up doing for Martha Stewart Omnimedia after she beat Bethenny out for the job on your Celebrity Apprentice? Way to go Bethenny!

Target Shopping

2011-04-23T17:16:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to do a quick drive-by and share what I just found while perusing Target's website (I was trying to check out the Calypso St. Barth stuff, but I cannot seem to find anything except for a super cute straw bag I just ordered for $12.99). In my cruising of the interwebs I found this beautiful occasional chair from DwellStudio for Target. It's on sale for circa $130 right now. That's a big bargain! Oh, by the way, here's the purse:

Three Things I am Loving This Week

2011-04-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

Hey! If ANYONE is still reading this neglected blog, thanks! Ever since I got a new Google Mail account through another company I work for, it signs me out of this one and I can never remember my passwords, and it turns into this whole "forgot password?" thing and you know what? I'm too lazy for all that! But reading in bed last night, laughing out loud at every page (literally; I'm not saying I "LOL'd" casually, I mean I bust out laughing in my bed and then I get the giggles and literally cannot stop), at things like "She Ann Jillian-ed part time," or "well played Jeannie Fey, well played"), I had to share. Without further ado...

THREE THINGS I AM LOVING THIS WEEK:

BOSSYPANTS! Soooo funny, and once you stop laughing, you see all the insights of the brilliant and beautiful (no matter what she says about her flat feet and rounded shoulders) Tina Fey. Apparently Ms. Fey and I were both brunettes from north of the Mason-Dixon line at UVA at the same time. Unfortunately for me, that's about all we have in common. I'm not into audiobooks, but I imagine her reading this one would be a great one to put on my shuffle to enjoy while walking or cleaning.

Speaking of my shuffle, I received an iTunes giftcard for a recent birthday, and I immediately ordered up the new Britney. I can't help it, but Femme Fatale is pretty freaking awesome. Like the first time you heard Madonna's Like a Prayer Album.

Finally, I love the obnoxious and offensive programming only Chelsea Handler can bring. The semi-scripted faux behind-the-scenes hilarity of After Lately is a lot more entertaining than Oprah's behind the scenes show on the OWN network, though I have to admit, I find that show pretty fascinating as well.

I'm not sure about how Tina and Chelsea would feel about being in a post with Britney sandwiched in between them, but I feel quite confident that either one of them could make a good joke about it on the spot!

2011-02-24T14:48:00.000-08:00

It was such a pleasure to get to know the fabulous Coco of COCOCOZY when she shared her vibrant outdoor space with me. She's also just launched a line of gorgeous home furnishings.

Houzz Tours: 5-Day Outdoor Makeover

Houzz- Kitchen Design, Bathroom Design and More»

Find Home Improvement Professionals- For Example:

Los Angeles Architect · Chicago Interior Designer · Boston Contractor · Chicago Landscaping ·

Kim Richards and her Wooden Shoe

2011-02-07T11:52:00.000-08:00

Oh I am so sad I have not had time to keep up with blogging about the Real Housewives. With two different casts and several Watch What Happens Live episodes each week, it's just to overwhelming. Plus, I am writing full time for Houzz, so by the end of the day it's hard to look at the laptop screen anymore.

One issue I had with RHOBH was "who the hell are Kim and Kyle Richards"? I loved queen bee Kyle (she's not a bully, she's simply the one everyone wants to be BFFs with the most and she dresses the best and looks the least plastic). However, my friend Mike Pooley forwarded me this clip of Kim Richards on Little House on the Prarie and I just had to share it. I remember this bizarre episode very well. I had blocked out that Pa got into a disturbing barn fight. Oh, and by the way, if you find the Diff'rent Strokes episode nearby on YouTube, you may recognize Kim. I have no idea why Arnold was at a bus station, but I remember her in that episode!

Hallelujah!!!! Jonathan Adler is Coming, Jonathan Adler is Coming

2011-02-07T11:46:00.000-08:00

I am SOOOO happy! Jonathan Adler is opening a store in Atlanta over in the Westside Urban Market. I guess my quest to get rid of my credit card debt will not be happening anytime soon!

By the way, as if this past fall, one of those killer suzani covered sofas had been replaced by these hideous chairs. I'm not sure how that happened:

first image from jonathanadler.com

The Client List

2011-01-17T13:30:00.000-08:00

Is it just me, or was Jennifer Love Hewitt's dress a combination of two misses from last year, Kate Hudson's weird white dress and Drew Barrymore's weird dress:

This odd shape around one's boobs (so Madonna "Express Yourself" era):

Plus this weird sea urchin thing added to the waist:

Equals this:

You know I TiVO'd The Client List. It was Lifetime garbage at it's best. I highly recommend making a total crapfest out of it by making it a double feature night, and adding Call Me: The Rise and Fall of Heidi Fleiss starring Jamie Lynn Sigler.

Which dress did you think was the worst disaster? I think my vote is for this. January Jones needs to say goodbye to Versace and head in a more Betty Draper-esque Nina Ricci direction. Add some lucite platforms and this dress is straight out of The Moonlight Bunny Ranch. :

I Would Love to Meet the Diva...

2010-11-18T17:48:00.000-08:00

...who pulls off this necklace. It's so Samantha Jones, circa 1999. Or Grace Jones, circa 1979. Or perhaps Elton John, today:

Necklace from Tory Burch. It's 245 Smackers.

Lucas's Loft in the Trees

2010-10-16T13:43:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone, just wanted to share an interview I did with my fabulous friend Lucas Mire. He took me on a house tour of his fun loft in The Old Fourth Ward:

Houzz Tours: Lucas's Loft in the Trees

Houzz- Kitchen Design, Bathroom Design and More»

Phaedra Parks' Digs

2010-10-06T11:55:00.000-07:00

I haven't caught up on my RHOATL premiere yet (I was trying too hard to explain it to a RH newbie after a few too many sips of wine on Monday night), but this past Sunday The Atlanta Journal-Constitution featured new housewife Phaedra Parks' home. I haven't seen this much bordello black and red since Alex and Simon's Brooklyn renovation. I have to say, I do kind of dig that bathroom wallpaper though! Or are those decals? I've seen similar decals before. The rest of it, um, yeah, not my style but to each her own! Perhaps this is the home least likely to:

A) Evict a RHOATL, whether it's being rented or an ex-husband football player stops paying the mortgage.
B) Be sold in a short sale
C) Not be leased by a Sugar Daddy named Big Poppa

Apparently, Andy Cohen gave her this Warhol's worst nightmare of a painting to welcome her to the show! Actually, I think Andy Warhol would have loved the entire reality television phenomenon, as it proves his theories about fifteen minutes of fame for everyone.

photos via SeanDrakes.com via AJC.com

Blogging in the Twitter Age

2010-10-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

Oh friends, I've been such a lazy blogger lately. I blame Twitter. I can't seem to be bothered to blog anything over 140 characters lately. I pledge to try harder (usually when I see other bloggers making these pledges, it's indicative into a slide of just giving up completely. I'm going to try harder! We must discuss the Salahis very soon!)

Speaking of, do you think they actually had an invitation? They tried hard to make it seem like they were missing an entire bag of stuff, including a bra and some shoes and oops, the invite. Were their confessionals about "not needing an invitation, it's a keepsake to frame" taped before or after the WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!?!?!? scandal? What do you think?

"Oh my goodness, wherever could that invitation be? Oh yeah and my bra?"

I'd also like to add, it's a true sign of a tough economy when The Inn at Little Washington stoops low enough to allow filming of this show at their fine establishment. Shocking!

photo from bravotv.com

Manolo Blahnik for Liberty

2010-10-02T12:31:00.000-07:00

We knew his fabulous sketches made for beautiful books, but now you can get (if you're in the U.K.) Manolo for Liberty accessories like candles, pillows, umbrellas, tote bags and prints! Check it out here.

It's probably a good thing for my wallet that these don't ship to the states! For a budget friendly Manolo decor idea, buy one of his books of sketches, cut out pages and frame them. I haven't been able to bring myself to cut up the one book I have, but I may buy a second just for this purpose!

Thanks to Holly at decor8 for bringing this to my attention!

90210 Flashback

2010-09-29T11:15:00.000-07:00

Oh how I miss the days when 32 year olds played the editors of high school newspapers called "The Blaze". This photo gallery is a fun blast from past to present. Hey guys, Hilary Swank wins by a landslide, though Brian Austin Green sure gets a lot of hot chicks, whether he has a career or not! I miss when he used to rap and dance at his keyboard at The Beverly Hills Beach Club before his voice changed.

Typecasting

2010-09-25T22:41:00.000-07:00

O.K. I'm watching Up in the Air for the first time since I saw it in the theater awhile back. I only have one question, that doesn't have to do with backpacks. It is, as good as this awesome actor is, in Juno, on The Closer, as a therapist on Law and Order whatever episodes, in movies like this, will you ever really, truly, get rid of the image of him as the evil Nazi leader, Vern Shillinger, on OZ? I may be the only female that was completely addicted to that show, but I'm just wondering!

By the way, he seems to have erased Oz from his imdb page. Do I have the wrong actor, or is he trying to get past that scene where he makes Beecher rub his feet?

Oh Lord, Something in Common...

2010-09-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

So I've been watching The Apprentice, and just learned that the meanest, craziest (so far) bitch on the show went to my alma mater:

I wish UVA grads would stop going on this show. They are ruining the reputation of a school, which, believe it or not, was in the top ten when moi actually managed to gain acceptance in 1990. The last one literally showed her ass on television in order to sell..what...I don't know what. Some ridiculous chick from the Comm School, I'm not even going to justify her pathetic existence with a link...

At leas that Project Runway horrible girl with the worst bangs ever, and a worse personality, did not attend The University of Virginia, as far as I know,

Hooker Wardrobe on Network Television

2010-09-24T13:22:00.000-07:00

Hey All! I am so sorry I've basically taken the summer off. I kept escaping the oppressive humidity of Atlanta for the cool breezes of New England, where I watched little to no television (can you believe it?). Of course, this resulted in huge Bravo binges on my DVR whenever I got home. The DVR was bursting with real housewives and oh lord, I've forgotten what else.

In other news, I ate so much lobster and pie and ice cream while wearing beach cover ups and leggings and elastic shorts, that I didn't realize that none of my pants fit until I got home a week or so ago. Thus, in an act of pure desperation, I ordered up Nutrisystem. Hmmm, how can food with "beef" and "chicken" be just fine for years without refrigeration? Major amounts of sodium. I think I'm going through about two gallons of water per day! But I did this to myself, so I shall suffer. God forbid I actually go to the gym or something. It is a bit scary that little packets that resemble those silica packets you find in purses that say "DO NOT EAT" all over them are packed in with the muffins, but whatever!

Anyway, watching The Mentalist last night (based on the commercials during the show, I think I am the only Mentalist viewer who does NOT have erectile dysfunction), I burst out laughing when I saw the hookers on the show. I wonder if the wardrobe people get in hysterics when they have to dress these characters. It always involves fishnets, silver, lucite, exposed breastesses, shoes and wigs. Check out the Pretty Woman they came up with for last night's episode:

Those CBI agents and this lady of the night were moving too quickly for me to get a good shot, but you get the idea. Her name was Sugar. Don't these wardrobe people watch those HBO specials about Hunt's Point? Or would more realistic ho wear be too much for CBS's Cialis targeted audience to handle? At any rate, it would be hilarious to compile images of hooker characters across time. I'm not talking Jane Fonda in Klute or Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I'm talking about prime time procedural drama hos. I'm going to start.

I'm Still Alive

2010-08-24T08:39:00.000-07:00

Hey to all of my tens of readers!

I am sorry I've been so MIA lately. I've been in and out of town, doing a lot more writing for Houzz, and my DVR watching schedule is WAY off, though I must say, I am thoroughly enjoying Flipping Out and Mad Men. Plus, what is there really to say about the NJ or DC housewives? They've become parodies of themselves or something. I am very much enjoying watching the tacky Salehis, and I know Andy Cohen will tease us with trailers about the White House crashing for the entire season, I'm onto him.

I'm also missing Andy Cohen. I hope when he gets back from Fire Island or P-town or wherever he is gaying it up for the month of August that his first guest is Ben Weiner, who should be home from camp by then, though the show will keep him up pretty late for a school night. Maybe Ben Weiner and Jenny from Flipping Out. I think that would be a good pair of guests. Anyway, in the meantime, I'm just playing around on YouTube. Why am I always like the 11 millionth person to hear about viral videos, like the double rainbow guy? I just heard it for the first time last night and could not stop laughing. Then I fell down the YouTube rabbit hole, watching all of my old favorites, one leading to the next to the next. I finally quit when I got to Borat on Letterman, filmed YEARS AGO, well, that's a lie, after that I gave "I'm on a Boat" one more watch - it had been awhile.

This one really tickled my funny bone, because speaking of parodies of themselves, Jillian Michaels is just absurd, and this chick really has her down:

St. Elmo's Fire Billy Idol Decor

2010-08-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh, I SUCK at blogging regularly in the summertime, and I'm way behind on my television shows, but I thought I'd at least route you guys over to a fun post I wrote for Hatch about Demi Moore's apartment in St. Elmo's Fire. It's here.

I Want All of These...

2010-07-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

Tory Burch fall flats - such great unexpected hues of patent leather. Lord help me wait until they go on sale!

Check them all out here.

An Improved Hills Finale Montage!

2010-07-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

Oh Joel McHale, I would pick you over Brody Jenner any day of the week. This alternative finale montage for The Hills is truly the bomb:

The Suprise iHills/i Finale They Didn't Want You to See!

HGTV Design Star

2010-07-17T11:06:00.000-07:00

I couldn't help myself. There is nothing on TV this summer besides Bravo stuff, Rescue Me, and True Blood, so I started watching HGTV's Design Star OnDemand. I've decided to come up with a drinking game to go with this show, because most of the designs are too awful to take in sober.

1) Drink every time someone says "cohesive."

2) Drink every time someone says "focal point"

3) Drink every time someone says "Wow Factor!"

4) Drink every time someone says "at the end of the day."

5) Drink every time someone says "threw me under the bus."

Oh Mad Men, your July 25th premiere cannot come quickly enough!

Last Night - A Party at Pieces

2010-07-16T12:39:00.000-07:00

ME: I'm dressed kinda like Mrs. Roper.

LUCAS: I have these little blue shorts on and I look like Little Lord Fotleroy.

ME: I can't get my face to stop sweating, even though the a/c is on 75 and all I did was wrap a gift.

LUCAS: I just had some little things removed from my nose and they haven't healed yet.

ME: We make a hot pair.

Oh well, we had a great time anyway! Last night was so much fun. It started with a party at Pieces in Buckhead, where one of my all-time favorites, Jonathan Adler, was signing pots and schmoozing. Before I even got out of the car, I spied The King of Pops, the very handsome gentleman with the homemade popsicles who can usually be found at Buddy's around 3:00. I highly recommend the grapefruit mint on a hot day. By the way, I can't believe how many people from my neighborhood do not know what Buddy's is. It's the gas station across North Highland from Manuel's Tavern that has the killer wine selection, and the hilarious big red crooked letters that spell out "Buddy's." It's plunked in the middle of Poncey Highland, Little Five, Inman Park and Virginia-Highland, and when you need to dash in somewhere for a bottle of wine as quickly as you can buy a scratch off ticket, Buddy's is the spot!

Anyway, Lee Kleinhelter's parties are as impeccable as her shop and her design efforts (did you catch the latest over in Lonny? Be sure to check it out if you haven't seen it yet - click on the fourth dot in the little table of contents thingee on the bottom.). Delicious drinks were served up by Holeman and Finch, Naugleworks had set up an amazing photobooth, and Jonathan was there with bells on. He was nice enough to take a picture with me, even though my face was schvitzing like a faucet. It's been so hot in Atlanta for the last week, I just cannot seem to cool down. He's a lot more photogenic than I am!:

At 7:45 it was time to head off to The Horseradish Grill for Christina's birthday. I had never heard of this joint, but I LOVED it. It's right on Chastain Park, has a fabulous patio (last night no thank you, I needed to cool down after the party and get my face to stop sweating so profusely. Seriously, I looked like Albert Brooks in Broadcast News), a garden in the back, and the interior just reminded me of being in my beloved Charlottesville. It felt like a converted barn, full of warm wood beams, cozy booths, and oriental rugs. It was lovely and comfortable and even though it was a full house, it didn't have that usual roar of noise most Atlanta restaurants tend to have. Well, except the roar coming from our table, as this crew always has a great time!

Finally, it was time to come home and find a good spot for my groovy Partridge Family-esque JA pottery. He's going to be neighbors with the piece I call "Ram Who's Got Back":

First I had him here...

..but he told me that having those heavy books on top of his head was giving him neck strain, so I moved him over here:

Perhaps I should just leave him like this so I can show off the signature:

Thanks so much to Lee at Pieces for throwing such a fun party, and to Horseradish Grill for giving our friend a superb birthday dinner!

Crazy Kelly vs. Sweet Kelly - huh?

2010-07-14T09:55:00.000-07:00

So, maybe she is crazy like a fox - if Kelly Bensimon was looking to up her Google search stats, then her behavior certainly has helped her accomplish that goal! I found this article pretty interesting. Is all publicity good publicity? If anything, Jelly Kelly helped her paranoid mind's "arch-nemesis" Bethenny get more screen time and more buzz on the Real Housewives show!

By the way, I found this article via Facebook. It's scary how Big Brother the Facebook ads are. Here's a recent sidebar that popped up when I was writing a "private" message to a friend:

RHONJ: Country Clubbin'!

2010-07-12T21:39:00.000-07:00

This reaction is worth a million words!

Well you all, Dina certainly got out just in time!

Here's how it started: At the country club during a very POSCHE event, Teresa, who previously flipped a table and yelled "PROSTITUTION HO-ERRRR" the last time she saw Danielle, decides to have a chat with Danielle like nothing's happened, explained that she's "a sweet person" and quickly disinigrates into calling Danielle a "b*tch" and a "coke whore."Then all of this happened:

I cannot believe Bravo missed out on showing those insane boots all broken down like an old coke whore. It reminded me of a story my favorite Saks shoe salesman told me about a big fight he heard going on outside of his apartment, that happened to be right off Ponce de Leon quite a few years ago, which tells those of you from Atlanta all you need to know. It was in his courtyard at about 4 a.m., and in the morning, next to some broken potted plants, a lone stripper boat was left behind as the main piece of detritus. Danielle sure ain't Cinderella, but can't you see some ex-con walking around with the 8" nail-thin heel from those boots trying to fit it to a broken-ass boot the next day like he's Prince Charming? Or am I the only one who sees a woman fleeing from a country club, chased by a band of werewolf women wearing fur vests while her bodyguard realizes he doesn't know how to guard bodies at all and is the one who is the most frightened, who sees the whole thing as a cracked out Cinderella midnight event?

Anyhoo, all I can say is that I am glad that the "weave" versus "extensions" lingo brought up by the Atlanta gang has brought the races together. I have noticed all the white R.H. women have either read the controversy that came up with a Bethenny blog post when she didn't realize the two things were one in the same, or seen Chris Rock's "Good Hair". Now white women from the O.C. to N.Y.C. to N.J. are calling their borrowed hair "weaves." Except Kim, who goes for full on daily new wigs. We have equalized all added hair via this show, so if nothing else, this franchise has aided race relations in this regard. Unfortunately, half of the franchises have involved at least one hair-raising hair-yanking incident. Grown women, yanking at each others' hair. Hmmm.

The only person I may love more at Bravo than Andy Cohen is the one who writes the comments under the pictures, like you see above (Later: they have added all the dialogue that went along with the fight!) I'd like to add some of my own:

Under a photo of Danielle calling the cops -

911 OPERATOR: Do you need medical attention?
DANIELLE: No, but I need a hairdresser, a cobbler, and a shrink

"I was tryin' to show ya my cleaveledge"

With a newfound confidence found at pole dancing class, Kim G. decides to forgo wearing pants.

All I can say is I'm gonna watch a little Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory now to cleanse my TV watching karma. I love that guy. He reminds me of all the Ohio guys I grew up with.

Speaking of bad TV karma, I watched Jake and Vienna last week. I had thought she was trashy as hell, but I walked away thinking he was just like the guy in "Sleeping with the Enemy." Did you watch it? WILL YOU PLEASE - QUIT-INTERRUPTING-ME!!!

images from bravotv.com

Bethenny-isms

2010-07-09T08:37:00.000-07:00

Thanks so much to Vanessa for posting this video on my wall on Facebook! It makes me laugh every time:

Best Magazine Cover

2010-07-09T08:32:00.000-07:00

I cannot wait to frame this cover of Ebony and put it in my closet with my other fashion inspirations. I also think this would be a great inspiration for a room. If I let myself procrastinate the rest of the stuff I need to do I'll wind up designing a room around it, as I've had purple on the brain lately, for the first time since I was a kid. Anyway, without further ado...the artist known again as Prince!

Porch Decision

2010-06-30T13:58:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for your advice. I think I just needed a shove, so here's my project for the next few minutes!

I think the rug is going to work great now that I can turn it longways under the sectional, and now my existing coffee table bench will work with it.

Help! I Need Design Advice

2010-06-30T10:21:00.000-07:00

So I spent the past two days purchasing, hauling home, and putting together this sectional sofa thing from West Elm. They were having a killer sale, and it actually took longer to get the pieces out of the ridiculous packaging than it did to put it together, I'm not even kidding. While I thought this would be plenty, I'm wondering if I should get one more pice for the right side. So an armless piece would go in between those two corner pieces, and the whole unit would take up the area all the way to that next post. What do you guys think:

The rocking chairs are just there temporarily while I moved the furniture around. I'm not sure what I am going to do with them - they may be stored for the rest of this summer. I'm loving how cute my butterfly tablecloth from The Atlanta Botanical Gardens looks out here, and the new rug came from gilt.com. It's from a Thom Filicia collection and it's made out of recycled straws, or flip flops, or something, I can't remember what to save my life!

Here is the configuration if I add another piece, though I think I'd put the one with the armrest on the right, longer side and leave the single piece where it is:

Here's another view of all the space I have for another piece. I thought it would be too much, but I think there is planty of room. Especially when you think that the rockers will NOT be there. By the way, as usual, this is only half-way put together - the tags are still on the cushions, the Jonathan Adler lamp needs a shade, etc. I'm just so happy to have my porch spruced up and clean - it was coated in construction dust and pollen and I thought it would never be back.

Anyway, what do you think? Should I call them up while there is still one piece left for me to buy or leave it as is?

Also, if you want one for yourself, it's here, but it's cheaper in the stores right now.

Jelly Beans and Decorating

2010-06-29T21:04:00.000-07:00

I totally forgot to share this link that Lynda shared with me on facebook. It's REALLY funny, check it out:

I was trying so hard to get ahead of the game with my other blogging that I still haven't gotten to write about that Bump-It event of the year, the Posche Fashion Show! Coming soon...

RHONJ: Poor Danielle?

2010-06-28T22:26:00.000-07:00

OMG, still processing tonight's episode. While I know Danielle is a selfish narcissist, I could really see how stacked against her everyone is, and I have to wonder - what the hell did she do that made Caroline call her trash on the reunion? Why did Jacqueline turn on her? To the point that Ashlee has raged war on her? Theresa seemed to know that backing Danielle was like betting on the wrong horse and out of there, and now the Kims seem to sense it as well. Anyway, I'll print my notes and thoughts tomorrow. Right now they are in a Pinot Gris haze...however, I can't wait to see the throw down next week. As usual, Bravo has teased us with an extra-titillating trailer for next week. I hope they will come through with the good stuff this time!

By the way, did your Bravo suddenly change to the thing where the loud commercials are even louder than usual, like F/X does? As if their Bravo announcer dude was not loud, annoying, and obnoxious enough, they have literally cranked it up to an intolerable volume, just in case you decide to unload the dishwasher or run to the bathroom during one of the numerous long breaks!

Um, this boutique's set up is the merchandising equivalent of an employee putting an "I'm on the phone beyotch" finger in your face. Crammed like an outlet. If I've gotta drive to a strip mall and dig through overstuffed racks, I better be on a deep discount treasure hunt, not paying full price in a posh boutique. I suppose that's why it's called "Posche," the tackiest name I've heard for a store in awhile.

image via bravotv.com

Just an Observation About Journalism

2010-06-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

Quick Observation:

As our print newspapers go to hell and work with skeleton crews, I'm rather shocked at how much of their information comes from Facebook. Have you noticed that instead of polling the subjects friends and neighbors, they simply pull up the Facebook page and write things like this crap that was in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution yesterday? Until I read this, I didn't realize the newspaper had started to get journalistic style from Life and Style:

Christa Scott and her family and friends are not talking to reporters, who have been left to piece together what they can of her life.

O.K. and here's what they piece together. Really? "Appears to be hers"? A comment about a dog being sexy is giving the readers insight into what exactly?

A Facebook page that appears to be hers carries this posting: “Your (sic) only as strong as your weakest thought. Oh yeah, and my dog is SOOO DEADLY SEXY.” She has a posting on the Web site Modelingmayhem.com, which features photos of her ranging from randy to elegant.

In a sales pitch she appears to have posted on that site:

“I hope to network and meet experienced photographers. I’m available for print, runway, spokesmodel, and TV work. I am reliable, dependable, motivated, very outgoing, and intelligent. I have great communication skills and love working with new people. I’m excited so to be a part of this site! The best way to contact me is via email. I look forward into working with you!

Seriously? Let me be clear: As a blogger, I do not consider myself a journalist by any stretch of the imagination. I have little to no standards for my own "research" (as someone who went to college during a time when we had to find articles on microfiche, dig through the stacks, know how to use the guide to periodicals, etc. I still have a hard time thinking of Googling as research), I actually PAY for the paper. Even though I've been known to tear through an US Weekly with fervor, I expect newspaper articles to have more substance.

At least this reporter knows the difference between "your" and "you're" and knows how to use "(sic)" - from what I've gathered from Facebook postings, that's rare.

Design Blogs I Love

2010-06-26T08:06:00.000-07:00

I know I don't talk about design much over here anymore. This is because I am a disorganized, confused mess. But I LOVE The Brick House - I think its author, Morgan, is totally hilarious, honest, and straightforward. It's all about renovating her desert brick house outside of Palm Springs. Anyway, Morgan was cool enough to let me interview her over at houzz, so I thought I'd share the link with you all.

Oh, also, I love to follow The Brick House on Tumblr

images property of The Brick House

Sex and the City II: Not THAT Bad

2010-06-24T10:37:00.000-07:00

I've gone to see Sex and the City II three times now. The first time, at The Midtown Landmark Theater, the stupid sound went off about 15 minutes in and I missed a ton of dialogue, and got my money back. By the way, don't throw away your ticket stub at this joint. When this happens (second time for me), they'll only give you a pass and not your moolah back if you don't have your stub.

Anyway, the next time I went with my girlfriends after brunch and we were 20 minutes late so that worked out perfectly - I picked up right where I left off and didn't have to suffer through the wedding scene again. The third time I was in Maine with my cousin who had not seen it yet and I wanted to keep her company and enjoy a fat box of Milk Duds.

For me, most of the jokes fell flat. The writers had lost their mojo and phoned in a slopped-together script, and the actors' rapport was rusty. They just didn't have their usual snappy rhythm. The dumb puns were not clever ("I already have a date" - Miranda, holding a date; "It's time for an interFRENtion"-said several times, really lame). While Samantha shocked us years ago, the once-racy bits of SATC have been shamelessly copied for years now and it takes a lot more to shock us these days. Having to see her with her panties around her ankles applying Suzanne Somers cream to her lady parts in a completely open glass office is just shocks in a vulgar and gross way, not in a funny way. It made me want to call a labor lawyer on behalf of her assistance.

As I saw they way they shot everywhere but the streets of NYC (inside apartments, at a store, an inn in Connecticut, Miranda on a balcony above the street level, inside school, MOROCCO), I was missing what Karen Walker dubbed "that fabulous fifth lady, Manhattan!" Obviously, the logistics of filming in NYC have become a huge pain - paps leak pictures to all of the magazines, fans gather in hordes, it's expensive...but I think they thought they could just cut out street level and fool all of us.

What did I actually like about this movie? I liked seeing how Carrie had decorated the apartment. Besides the oversized tray of a coffee table and that royal blue ottoman, I liked it a lot. I loved the fashion, which always has me worshipping Patricia Field (she has NOT lost her mojo). That red dress with the spikes on Samantha is HILAROIUS - is it a tribute to her past at CBGB's and to Michael Jackson? I sit there thinking "Is that a BELT around Carrie's neck?!?!?" or "how did they plan out that orange flowing dress with the orange and blue flags flapping in the wind on the beach? Amazing!" I thought the issues of how to create your own rules for marriage was interesting, if not carried too far beyond trite analogies to how modern women are wearing veils.

What did you think? I am not even proofreading this, so I apologize for any typos or bad grammar!

Etsy Blogs and Denise Huxtable

2010-06-24T09:56:00.000-07:00

I am still navigating my way around Etsy's marketplace and blogs. So far, I tend to look at the favorites lists of sellers I like, and find products that are linked to from blogs I like as well as from the Etsy blogs. Speaking of Etsy blogs, I am still navigating those as well. I love when they have bloggers like Swiss Miss pick out their favorites, I love when Christine helps me get the look of interiors she admires with Etsy items, but so far, by a landslide, my favorite post was called Get the Look: Denise Huxtable. I loved The Cosby Show so much back then, and I was in seventh grade and was just starting to earn my own money to buy things like silver espadrilles from ESPRIT, striped leggings from Benetton, and oversized shirts from my dad's closet. I think the biggest influence on my style must have been Denise Huxtable. She rocked hats, she wore crazy oversized boxy clothes, she had the Kanye sunglasses 25 years before he did, she bobbed around to reggae, she bought a hunk of junk of a car...I can't think of another fashionista I looked up to as much as Denise.

Thank you Alison at Etsy. You made my day with this one!

Oh P.S. Do you use Etsy? How do you navigate it? I love it but I find it overwhelming at times. Please share some of your favorite sellers with me.

Bravo Overload

2010-06-22T15:18:00.000-07:00

Oh My God. I am in complete Bravo overload. I missed a week's worth of television when I was in Maine last week. Did I mention that the night before I left, when Part III of the RHONYC Reunion show was on, when it was 100 degrees outside, my entire neighborhood lost power for hours? It was a tragedy.

So Dina's gone, Kelly is crazier than ever and apparently PETA must have deemed her too stupid to even scold, The Countess made a stupid comment about dating a Jewish person, Jill is as mean as a snake, Dina has left the show, Grandma Wrinkles doesn't smell that bad, and somehow I missed Danielle singing on Watch What Happens Live, which I cannot catch again until this Friday at 3:00 a.m.

What struck me so clearly about all three parts of the reunion was just how conniving Jill is. I mean, I've been totally amused by her Amazongate (what a total idiot), I've felt a little sorry for her when she gets choked up at being humiliated and wanting to see Bethenny's baby (keep her away B!), but when she got in her awful comment to Alex about being "spread eagle in the hallway of your husband's hotel" we saw the mean girl come out in full glory. Alex summed it up best on her blog - it's a good read. Alex is very smart and logical and she is one of the few housewives who makes a lot of sense!

Other than that, I am so happy Kathy Griffin is back. Watching all these crap reality shows makes me appreciate a really good one. You deserve that Emmy girl, and I hope you get it this year. Looking forward to tonight's episode.

REUNION PART I (of III ?!?!?!?!?!?!??!)

2010-06-11T13:15:00.000-07:00

Alex McCord. Don't You. Ever. Put Words in My Mouth.

Oh those Real Housewives of New York City. They had so many problems that they had to tape the reunion show for three hours and stretch it out for three episodes. Usually I would be very wary of this and feared it would be stretched thin, but so far, it's jam packed. I felt like it was on for about ten minutes, not an hour.

Speaking of fearing an hour would be full of stretched-thin material, I thoroughly enjoyed Bethenny Getting Married. She is very honest and makes herself wide open, which I think is why she's had so much success since being on the show. She had her eye on branding herself long before the cameras rolling, and knew how she wanted to do it, whereas others think that they are huge stars after the show and either write or have a ghostwriter write some horrible tome about their lives. Frankly otherhousewives, we don't care to see anything about your life beyond the 15 minutes a week we are shown on Bravo, and that's why none of the rest of you have your own shows (though Nene and Kim, if you would have stayed friends from the start, the Nene and Kim show had potential to be hilarious).

Who is styling this woman? The bracelets, the bared shoulders (how old is she?), the Louboutins with the discount stickers still on the soles. UNBEWEAVABLE!

What's most interesting to me about these shows is after watching SO many episodes, realizing how they work and the catty dynamics and maneuvers behind the scenes. I mean, it's obvious that the O.C. ladies take limos as a group to get facials and pedicures and the Atlanta women go to a special King Tut exhibit showing just to get some filming material, but there is so much more going on behind the scenes. It was revealed last night that some of them used to call others and say things like "don't film with so-and-so" as a strategy to get more air time. Where Jill Zarin made her huge mistake was in not realizing that shooting scenes with Bethenny, the one most of us wanted to watch the most, she was maximizing the air time she would ever get. Jason doesn't want to listen to her talk about carats and her new Mercedes and neither do we---

---OH SNAP! That reminds me, did you all hear that Theresa from RHONJ and her husband are filing bankruptcy because they are ELEVEN MILLION DOLLARS IN DEBT? I kept hearing her say "everything is granite, marble and onyx" about her new New Jersey chafaux. I should say allegedly declaring bankruptcy, since I heard about it on the round table on Chelsea Lately.

Anyway, I think when Jill saw Sonja come on the scene all shiny and new, she looked around. She realized that Luanne was not going to be glued to her side once she got her life back together. She realized that Kelly was completely nuts, and then she realized the remaining three, Ramona, Bethenny, and Alex, were suddenly getting a bunch of air time. She was screwed and she did it to herself. And it did remind me of Junior High School. I feel like one girl in our clique was always kind of on the outs, and this was a rotating position, and we were all vicious bitches. Then we turned 14 and decided that wasn't really a great way to live.

Let's see, what else happened? Kelly is completely crazy and paranoid, what else is new? Luanne tries to add unwanted commentary at every turn in some desperate attempt to put the spotlight on herself (it's so funny when you can tell that Andy is annoyed with someone). Oh, and a I thought it was so hypocritical that Luanne mocked Alex for saying "dear" when really Alex was simply patronizing with "dear" the way Luanne patronizes everyone with "darling" all day long. Alex has grown a pair this season and I like it. I have a feeling she was the one people would not film with in past seasons, which is why we saw Alex and Simon alone so much the past few seasons.

Hmmm, I am just not feeling very witty or funny today. Sorry to those of you who are reading. I should have taken notes, but I was doing my "put the CDs in the case logic cases" project while watching. It was super exciting - I think I'm going to roll change later.

Oh one more thing, this is the second time a housewife has told a fellow housewife "Close Your Legs!" on a reunion show. Can you name the first? I have no prize for you but glory.

Oh side note: I have Tori and Dean on in the background right now, and I'm thinking about how Tory has the biggest bug eyes ever, and Dean has the beadiest little eyes ever, and wondering if bug eyes and beady eyes attract each other.

How Did I Miss This?

2010-06-11T11:19:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to write about PART I of the reunion all afternoon, but I got sucked into the new Lonny Mag and I am not done yet. I love any feature about Lee Kleinhelter from Pieces (if you are ever in Atlanta you MUST not miss this shop - it's the best home store I've ever visited). Anyway, Lee gave five of her favorite blog picks, and this one is sooooooo gorgeous and well done. I have no idea how I've been ignorant of its existence:

For some reason I can't even figure out how to link images anymore, so I must give you a click here to see the blog.

By the way, I didn't think I could admire Lee Kleinhelter any more, but then she goes and lists Bravo as one of her favorites and admits to being addicted to their shows. Mazel!

Bethenny Getting Married

2010-06-10T11:02:00.000-07:00

Will Bethenny and Jason being lovey-dovey be way more than I can take for an entire hour? I'm not sure, but Bethenny Frankel is far and away my favorite housewife and I'm going to give it a shot after the train wreck NYC reunion tonight. Apparently, that puppy took EIGHT HOURS to shoot!

Anyway, I loved this article in The NYTimes today. In addition to Bethenny, I would like to hang out the television writer with Gina Bellafante. I love the way she writes, for example, she calls Kelly Bensimon "the deranged nudnik." I couldn't have put it better myself. I'm jealous. As long as I'm listing television writers I'd like to hang out with, I am adding Dan Snierson and Dalton Ross to the list, as they are both hilarious.

Speaking of deranged nudniks, I couldn't even bring myself to discuss the episode of RHONJ regrading the aftermath after Danielle makes a mountain out of not even a molehill and makes a spectacle of herself at The Brownstone. The rest of the ladies seem very likable to me this season (well, except maybe for that daughter of Jacqueline's - time will tell what happens there). However, Danielle really does seem to have some sort of diagnosable personality disorder so I hesitate to make fun of a person who is truly mentally ill. If not, she is the most selfish, self-centered, narcissistic person to ever appear on the RH franchise, and that, my friends, is saying a lot!

image from bravotv.com. To watch the sneak peek, click here. I can't wait to Watch What Happens!

Nutella

2010-06-04T15:13:00.000-07:00

So I have this pair of Burberry jeans that ALMOST look really good, except for the muffin top. In an attempt not to eat this entire jar of Nutella with a spoon, I did this:

Every time I look at it I laugh. I guess it helped a little bit, as it took me about five days to polish it off instead of 5 minutes. By the way, the blame for me buying it in the first place lays between Paola who is always facebooking about Nutella, and Alon's, for stocking many jars in a prominent place. I take no personal responsibility for it. Alon's is a VERY dangerous place - everything there is ridiculously delicious.

A Big Chunky Sweater

2010-06-02T11:17:00.000-07:00

I think the show The City is a trip. Mostly because of Kelly Cutrone, and because of the hilarious bitchiness of Olivia Palermo. The woman is on another planet. If she just got some lollipops and jellybeans, she'd be on planet Kelly KooKooran Bensimon. I also think that Joe Zee (reality show whore; this is like the fourth show I've seen him on. He's like the male equivalent of Devorah Rose, or the gay version of Ryan Cabrerra) is a walking bottle of happy pills. At the pointless Guess? preview, where Olivia was supposed to pick up some Guess? clothing to wear to the party (she didn't) where she was supposed to interview people (she didn't), this awesome dialogue ensued. I shall now refer to Olivia Palermo as O.P.P., because I don't like her, and because I want to.

ERIN: So did you wear Guessa? growing up?

O.P.P.: I wore an eclectic group of different designers, ahoohoohmmm...

ERIN: In elementary school, you wore an eclectic group of different designers?

O.P.P.: I was a fashionable young girl.Was Guess? popular in California?

ERIN: I think Guess? is popular all over the world, actually.

GUESS? CLOTHING PIMP: This white is one of my favorites (pulls out tacky white sweater).

(WAIT FOR IT...)

O.P.P.: That would be nice on you...it's a big, chunky sweater.

ERIN: I have plenty of options.

O.P.P.:Indeedddd...

I also loved when she said "oh, Joe..." like he was being silly in reprimanding Olivia about not wearing Guess? the next day.

Now, I don't know about you, but Guess? hit southern Ohio in about 1984, when I was in Junior High School. This was probably a few years behind everywhere else, as I have a theory that trends start off on both coasts and creep slowly to middle America (generally speaking). The overalls cost $80. To me, this meant 16 weeks worth of allowance, or cleaning the entire house about five times, including the basement and garage, or approximately 40 hours of babysitting. I never did get those, but I had a pair with zippered ankles, because they were so pegged that it was the only way to get them over your feet, I had a black pair, a light blue pair, and a pair with some random crescent shaped pockets on the thighs.

They were ridiculously expensive, but the did eventually get them at a discount store at the Beechmont Mall called Hit or Miss, where hard working young tweens like me could get a pair for about $42. $42 only required about two full weekends full of hard labor. My parents always took me back to school shopping, and I cleaned up at Christmas, but this was not nearly enough to support the sartorial requirements of a ~~fashionable~~ mall chick young girl like me. My affordable eclecticism came not from designers but from the Army Navy store (I used a camo binocular bag as a purse), thrift stores, and secret bus trips to Sentiments in Clifton Ohio (I was not allowed to go there, but we'd have our parents take us downtown and then take the bus straight up through the hood to the college area of the city).

Shoe Temptations

2010-06-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

So, a lot of you may not know this, but I make part of my living selling shoes on eBay. What's dangerous is when I bring home shoes in my size, because they tend not to leave. If that pair of tortoise shell Manolo Mary Janes wouldn't have sold in about 24 hours time, they likely would have been taken off the internet and found a home in my closet.

So as I sit here listing, I just had to try on this ponyhair red and black pair of strappy stilettos. They are just so Samantha Jones. What to do, what to do, what to do (did I mention I'm broke?) Would you keep them or pass them along for a bit of a profit?

One More Thing

2010-06-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

You know how you get used to something in your home or office and you don't realize that it's become completely dated and horrible. Someone needs to tell the Manzos to get rid of these Dynasty drapes they have hanging in The Brownstone. Yeesh!

RHONJ: Poor Defenseless Baby?

2010-06-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

Alright, does it really need saying? Danielle is one tacky, scary, self-centered crazy person. I am not sure Bravo should continue to carry the liability of giving this woman a platform. For a fund raiser (I'm still not really sure of her role in this fundraiser - she was supposed to bring in a person who could write a big check? Was she supposed to emcee? She didn't buy a ticket or a table, so yo estoy muy confused), she brings in some ex-cons and Hell's Angels to "have her back." She feels threatened by a young man's comment about a surprise, the surprise being that she's overdressed, which she takes as some huge conspiracy.

The venue is owned by the Manzo family, and somehow the fact that there is no table for Danielle and her pack of felons is the worst thing in the world "to do to a sick baby." Yes, I am sure the poor baby's cancer just worsened because freeloading Danielle did not get a seat. Obviously, the organization hosting the fundraiser would have provided the seating chart, I assume for people who RSVPed and BOUGHT tables. After a bunch of big guys brought in a big table in the middle of everything, Danielle decided it was not placed in a good spot and stormed out, with an f-bomb dropping, threatening man in a black t-shirt and jeans (Eric Roberts will play him in the movie), in tow.

I am still not sure how Danielle going to this fundraiser without paying was helping this poor baby, and I'm really confused as to how her lack of social skills was an attack on said baby, but whatever. I can't believe I just wasted this much time talking about her.

In other news, I think it's HILARIOUS that Teresa, when told she couldn't wear her own PJs while giving birth, said "Gross." Teresa, after seeing these hospital PJs, I have to say I agree:

I usually hate anything related to giving birth, but Teresa in labor was CLASSIC! She's on the phone, giving out the occasional "OWWWW" when a contraction happens, and her husband is calming her down with the word "diamonds."

Other than that, this little thing made me nervous. Now that kids wear helmets just to get out of bed in the morning, I was pretty scared by this little four wheeler that Gia received for her birthday. It can't be safe to wear all that fringe on that thing:

Besides worrying about the kids, that birthday party was HILARIOUS and I would very much like to do that with my friends even though I am fast approaching forty!

Things I Learned in the Eighties. And Nineties.

2010-06-01T09:23:00.000-07:00

Unless Jon Bon Jovi is your personal style icon, too much denim is never a good thing. I don't care that lately in magazines I've seen this:

and this:

DON'T DO IT! TRUST ME. It looks really bad. Even on Alexa Chung. And those denim shirts are made for men who cut down really big trees and Martha Stewart.

The Real Housewives of NYC: Hell Island

2010-05-31T22:49:00.000-07:00

I am honestly still speechless after last week's episode, even though I've had the weekend to let it marinate. I think Jerry Seinfeld summed it up perfectly on Watch What Happens Live when he said "Why do people put their heads in this toilet?" Some other gems from Jerry included "Respect other human beings. Has that occurred to anyone on these housewife shows?" and my favorite "I hate these people!"

Aw Jerry, how can you NOT watch? It's a train wreck. Kelly is so crazy and delusional that I can't even pick on her, but I have renamed her Kelly KooKooran Bensimon. I simply wonder if it's a mental disorder or some sort of drug addiction - horse tranquilizers? Seriously, I don't understand how she can watch the episodes and still think she knows what happened. Here's what she had to say about it one her blog:

When Jill made her entrance on St. John, they really missed a perfect opportunity to play the them from Jaws! That was the most ridiculously awkward thing I've ever seen in my life. Also, according to some of the ladies' blogs, apparently Ramona had called Jill the night before, told her Kelly was nuts and was being kicked out, and that Jill should be a friend to Kelly and help her by meeting her at the airport the next day. During this phone call, Jill never mentioned that she would be "stopping by."

Yup, that black thing is a scruunchi.

I don't really know what else to say, except I'm not sure what was up with Ramona putting her Cameron Diaz renewed haircut into a Cabbage Patch doll style scruunchi. I will also say I very much enjoyed Jill doing a Pete Rose slide on the ice, and I am really liking Sonja - she is funny as hell and I cannot believe I keep forgetting to share the picture I took of my TV screen of her HUGE portrait of herself in her dining room. That is so hilarious! This season is so crazy that Ramona seems like the most sane one, bugged out eyes and all. It would be a pretty boring show without Ramona actually.

I thought of Tanya Harding when I saw this. How old is this woman?!?!?!?

Other thoughts:
1) Why do these people always confront each other at parties? Countess included? It's worse than Junior High School!
2)Is Jill now trying to make up with Bethenny because she realizes B. was the only reason she ever got airtime on the show?
3) Bethenny Getting Married - not so sure I can take that one, as wedding plans bore the crap out of me and pregnancy details simply gross me out. We'll have to wait and see.
4) I am ready to say goodbye to these ladies, though I am eagerly anticipating the reunion show, which they just taped this week.

What did you all think?

This Is Funny

2010-05-28T12:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Real Housewives,

PUH-LEEZE stop writing books. Well, except you Bethenny. You are a New York Times bestselling author, and you actually write about a topic you know about (as proven by your education and career and your insanely rockin' body).

I'm going to watch last night's episode again and start writing a post in a sec, but in the meantime, I was just over at Amazon reselling my copy of The Carrie Diaries (it was a lot like a Sweet Valley High book, from what I remember of those). Kinda fun. I digress. I am ashamed of myself when I see what Amazon recommends for me. Because I was stupid enough to buy Nene Leakes' terrible book, I will forever be plagued by housewife books in my recommendation pile. I had better start ordering some Faulkner just in case anyone ever hacks my account and sees my recommendations!

For those of you keeping up on the RHoNYC, this review and the story of the fallout is so funny. If you haven't been following the Jill Zarin Amazon-gate, you can get more information here. Apparently this woman was threatened after writing a bad review of Jill Zarin's book, and there is speculation about who wrote those threats. There were also 15 five star reviews written that people allege were written by Jill herself. I'm not going to weigh in on whether or not that's true, but just guide you over to the places that tell the story. Here is the link to the review of the book.

Oy Vey!

2010-05-27T12:44:00.000-07:00

Hey All, I am so sorry I have been neglecting my little blog over here. I blame Housewife fatigue! I mean, that Danielle on NJ is so over-the-top trashy that I cannot even take it anymore. Although, I write that in fear, as I don't want her to come knocking on my door with her cadre of ex-cons who it looks like wear black t-shirts and jeans to fancy fundraisers at The Brownstone!

So I can't remember if I told you and I'm too lazy to go look it up, but I'm taking this organization seminar at Simplify 101. It's awesome, but it is taking my time from gabbing with my like-minded pals over here and on my favorite blogs! I did a quick post of progress today over at Hatch. It's not very exciting, but here's how my office is shaping up. I'm really stuck on wallpaper or a new color. The room is open to my very off-white living room, there is a charcoal slate floor, and tons of barely off-white plantation blinds and trim. I have NO interest in trying to change out that trim or those blinds, so it has to be something that goes with it. There is also a cedar-colored bead board ceiling. Because so much of the room is broken up with windows, I need a small-scale print, and I'm thinking it will be black and white. So far the winner is this one from Ferm Living - I think the strong vertical will be alright despite my blinds:

These are some of the other ones I like, though I am sick to death of green, and the fir trees probably need a big plain wall to themselves. That's the only way I like the "Woods" wallpaper from Cole and Son, and I keep seeing people mis-using it and cutting it off in awkward ways:

All of these are from Ferm Living - I have not found any other small scale prints that I like nearly as much as the ones at Ferm, although these Julia Rothmans are awesome:

I am also obsessed with this print from Aimee Wilder. From afar, an interesting graphic pattern:

Close up, it's sumo wrestlers!

Tory Burch Sale

2010-05-20T10:54:00.000-07:00

This year I pretty much went for an all-Tory spring wardrobe, because department stores exhaust me and for the first time some of her clothes actually fit me in a flattering manner. Although, tunics with sparkles made me feel like Jill Zarin, so I took them off immediately and vowed never to buy one - I looked totally ridick!

Here are a few goodies that finally have semi-affordable prices. I cannot recommend the black sequined T-shirt enough. I love it so much that I bought two, in case I wear one out. Be warned that they are expensive to dry clean, but totally worth it:

I am also a total sucker for espadrilles. I actually used to buy them for about $7 at Woolworth's (does Woolworth's still exist?) when I was in high school. They had every fun bright color and sometimes even stripes. The catch was that they never had rubber on the bottoms, so when you walked on damp pavement on the way to high school the soles would be soaked like sponges by the time you got to homeroom. Hopefully these fare better:

Click here to check out all of the sale stuff. There's free shipping too! Oh, and P.S., their customer service totally rocks - friendly, helpful, fast, much UNLIKE the experiences I've had with OTHER sites when I have to go old school and call, or send an email that takes days to get a response. I had to go old-school and call them the other day and they were so nice, and today I sent a question via email and got an answer within minutes.

Stuff I Want

2010-05-17T14:01:00.000-07:00

Oh, why not share? Am I nuts, or is this lamp a must have? Perhaps it's just because I'm an Aries:

It's available at Paris Hotel Boutique (a VERY dangerous site to browse). Unfortunately, girlfriend is broke, so I'll just have to be satisfied with the big ass ram I already have:

The Funniest Picture I've Seen on Facebook in Awhile

2010-05-14T13:02:00.000-07:00

My friend Chrissy's dogs, Shadow and Tanner, post-op:

Balmain Overload?

2010-05-12T13:10:00.000-07:00

I think it's really weird that Marie Claire just put Sarah Jessica Parker in this Balmain number for their JUNE issue...

When W already featured a very similar Balmain getup on Demi Moore WAAAAAY back in December. Isn't it strange?

That's all. Wanted to share.

photo one photographed by James White for Marie Claire
photo two photographed by for W by Mart Alas & Marcus Piggott (I think)

ATLANTA: The Rolls Royce of Garage Sales

2010-05-12T11:47:00.000-07:00

Just in from Atlanta Homes and Lifestyles Blog: The Atlanta Decorative Arts Center is having it's monster tag sale this weekend. Floor samples galore and up to 80% off retail! It's designers only on the 14th, and then open to the public on Saturday and Sunday from 9-5. For more information, click here.

Photo from adac.com, courtesy of Michael Portman.

RHONJ: Beauty and the Beast

2010-05-11T10:18:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would say this, but there are too many housewives shows on. I can only take on one group of these crazy bitches at a time. Don't start NJ when I'm not done with NY yet. It's too much. I can only take so much bad behavior and so many bad manners per week. I can't believe I said that, but it's like too much of a good thing. Or too much of thing that's so bad it's good. The main impression last night left me with is how does someone become such a ridiculous narcissist? How is it possible to be so self centered that you make your daughter's first photo shoot all about YOURSELF? What the hell kind of luncheon is held in honor of someone who is NOT INVITED just so you can brag?

This woman Danielle is so just NOT RIGHT. What is wrong with her? I find it very disturbing. I also find her absolute need for a bidet disturbing, but I'm not going to go there. It's a miracle her daughters have turned out so well. I have to disagree with Carolyn, who took it too far by criticizing Danielle's children's social skills. They seem to see their mother for exactly what she is but they love her anyway, and they seem like smart, good kids. Model daughter (I can't be bothered to learn their names) is beautiful and very photogenic - she looked great in those pictures. She's perfect for Ralph Lauren and Michael Kors.

Back to Danielle, I can't even think about just how wrong everything about her behavior was this episode. She always brings the subject back around to those women, no matter what. Even when the Catholic church is trying to do some product placement on the show, Danielle talks about them.

Actually, it's like this every week with this woman, but they other four, while somewhat likable, are a total snooze, so I guess this is the show. One drama queen, another stage mom (that Gia is super cute - is she being groomed to be the biggest brat ever or will she be OK?), one wishy-washy with an obnoxious, ungrateful daughter, one who smothers her kids with attention and love (OK it's kinda nice but also boring), and one with the ugliest, grossest cat I've ever seen. I mean seriously, when you are going to Grandma Wrinkles for storylines, your show sucks. I hate this version. If you are going to center an entire season's conflict around what someone did, you need to let the audience know what that was. Otherwise, I simply do not care what is going on here. Tell me what Danielle did to Dina and I might get interested.

I know a lot of you love the NJ version. What do you like about it? Who do you like? Who do you hate? Why?

photos from bravotv.com

RHONYC: Your Are a Mean Girl!

2010-05-07T11:30:00.000-07:00

O.K.-First of all, bravotv.com photo editor, you are A GOD! I feel like you are out there just trying to make me laugh every week. You get the most unflattering shots, the looks where people like Countess might as well have horns on their heads, the shots of Alex fired up with maximum hives, the shots of Ramona with the craziest eyes ever.

"That's why, to take sides, is not the thing to do. I think you need to be supportive of both" - Luann

Gee Luann, I didn't hear you chastising Jill for yelling "BETHENNY, WE'RE DONE!" on freaking SPEAKERPHONE! You were egging her on, giggling, and eating it up. When you saw Bethenny at Ramona's apartment, you gasped like you'd spotted a scorpion on the settee or something.

I knew it would be a let-down after all of the teasing trailers, but seriously, what is up with these women? I was playing Bejeweled Blitz while watching because I got so bored, but from what I could tell, the newest new housewife had everyone over for a party. Then Jill yells at Ramona for not telling her that Bethenny's father died (hello, Alex told you Bethenny really needed a friend and you didn't care; Bethenny stopped by after trip #1 to L.A. and Ramona tried to get you back together and Bethenny laid her heart out on the table). I think Jill is realizing that her new BFF the Countess hitches her star to the most desirable wagon, and that Sonja with the townhouse who throws out NWT Chanel suits is driving the current wagon. She realizes that she looks like a total jerk now that Bethenny is pregnant and that her father died, and she is wildly trying to blame other people. She desperately tries to be a part of it all by texting others like Alex the news of Bethenny's father's death.

What is wrong with this woman? Why does she talk about taking Bethenny in and feeding her as if Bethenny was homeless before Jill came along. I think in Jill's mind she was the mother in The Blind Side and Bethenny was the homeless orphan she took in. I think she realized Bethenny was true friend, and Countess is more of a user who does whatever she thinks will look good on camera.

Speaking of the Countess, is she trying to plug that manners book she "wrote" by giving everyone a lecture on how they misbehaved at their last gathering at the beginning of the current gathering? Countess, there is supposed to be misbehavior. Watching Bethenny and Jason talk or Ramona buy a wedding dress is boring, thus Bravo makes you have these little get-togethers in order to make the show interesting. I think someone should edit together every rude thing Countess and Jill have done (the mean asides about Ramona's jewelry at the fashion show, the catty comments about Alex's house in Brooklyn, etc. etc. etc.!), and force them to watch it. I also think the Countess should be forced to listen to her song minus the autotune for 24 hours straight. Unfortunately, she'd probably enjoy it and that plan would backfire!

So we finally got to see Alex lose it on Jill. As Carolyn Manzo shrewdly analyzed the fight on Watch What Happens Live afterward, these women don't really fight - one of them walks in and yells at the other and then one or both of them leave immediately! They don't stick around and finish the fight.

I will say in Jill's defense that she probably had a lot of Bethenny's time before, and then Bethenny's life blew up. A best selling book, a book tour, a new boyfriend she likely ditched all of her friends for...of course these things are not one-sided. However, Jill is killing me. She used to be my favorite and she is behaving so poorly. I'm sure a lot of it is to cover up her hurt, and that the worst of Jill is being brought out by the Countess, but the bottom line is, she seems to be an obnoxious person this year.

SIDE NOTE: This picture is pretty gross. Thank you bravotv.com! I love it!

What do you all think? I know a lot of us were or still are Jill and/or Countess fans, so let me hear your side! Also, they have been very rude about introducing the new housewife, but so far she seems fresh and cool. And I have to say, I am THOROUGHLY enjoying Sonja's ridiculousness. She's pretty damn funny:

OK, I'm not even proofreading this in an effort to be somewhat timely and relevant. Apologies for bad grammar and mis-spellings. Oh, and P.S. I still love Bobby Zarin the most!

all images from bravotv.com

Books - What Are You Reading Lately?

2010-05-06T14:11:00.000-07:00

Did I already tell you this? This book is hilarious:

When I saw the "little black dress" in the title, especially on the other cover that's just a turquoise background with an LBD on it, I thought with a groan "Oh no, more trite chick lit about shopping and being 15 pounds overweight." It was a lesson in not judging a book by its cover, well, and its title. Rhonda Janzen is so open, you feel like you are reading emails from your best friend as you read it (which apparently, is how the book began).

In a nutshell, after her bi-polar husband leaves her for a guy named Bob he met on gay.com, Janzen is stuck in a house she can't afford, recovering from a bad car accident and realizing she will not be spending her sabbatical traveling but rather back at home with her Mennonite parents. The resulting sojourn to Mennonite country brings up childhood memories and reflection as Janzen continues to recover from everything that has hit her. I love what her "uncool" background brings to her - while she seems to have a cynical, biting sense of humor, there is this sense of optimism that pervades it. Not in a Susie Sunshine kind of way, but just in her general outlook. Janzen masks her reverence for her family and upbringing with irreverence, and it's simply charming and very funny. The book is about $8.50 used on Amazon - if you haven't picked it up, I suggest you do so immediately! Right Here!

Vera Going Fast at The Atlanta Botanical Garden

2010-05-06T13:22:00.000-07:00

I was being really restrained, I had just a dishtowel or two today when I checked out of the Atlanta Botanical Garden gift shop, but then they informed me that once the stuff they had out sold, it would be gone forever, so I had to go pick up the tablecloth I thought I'd shown a lot of restraint NOT buying a few moments before, and some other gifties for people I knew would like it. The stuff is CUTE! And the exhibit of paintings by Vera is ending at the end of this month. I'll admit, I was in a hurry so I just popped in to do the Canopy Walk and do a bit of shopping, so I didn't make it over to the Orchid House to check it out...yet. It will give me a reason to go back there on the next nice day. Perhaps I'll walk, since being a member at the ABG and having to pay for parking annoys me to no end.

Besides the usual seeds and garden books the other super cool goodies in the gift shop were the Cohn-Stone Studios glass "Blown Organics." I've got my eye on a beautiful pear that's $310, if anyone's asking...

9 by Design

2010-05-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

This woman is way too cute for this man

So I just left this comment about 9 by Design over at Slate and figured I might as well share my feelings over here. Do any of you watch this show? While I find their accomplishments impressive, I find these people intensely annoying:

I find watching this show gives me the same emotions and annoyance and discomfort I had while watching the octomom at home on Oprah - chaos and lots of horrible noise. Most if it came from Bob. He reminds me of Robert Heene, father of the bubble boy, and he looks like he's trying to be a porn director. If you aren't a hip hop artist, you don't get to wear shades indoors.

Cortney - if she's southern, what in the hell is her accent? Seriously - I can't place it, but it's awful. "Designers" who put a French accent on the name "Ralph Lauren" lose all credibility with me - it's Lauren people, like Lauren Graham, not LAA-wren...

Ah, thanks for the vent space. I feel so much better, like I've cleaned this show out of my brain with some burning sage.

This review by Hanna Rosen is great. She even quoted my favorite line from Greenberg, which I just saw last night.

I should add a confession. Yesterday my television happened to be on Lifetime, O.K., I admit it, it's because I taped Army Wives on Sunday night. Anyway, Wife Swap was on, and it was the episode with the bubble boy, oh crap, I said bubble boy in my Slate comment, I meant balloon boy! Oh well, nothing I can do about it now. The bubble boy's father is completely crazy. I was trying to diagnose him, but I never even took Psych 101 in college. I should have as the teacher was the same one my father had thirty years prior, his name was Bice and it was supposed to be a gut, but I didn't. Let's just call Robert Heene bi-polar and a moron. It was the craziest crap I've ever seen.

Also, out of shame over the whole Wife Swap thing (does every show on Lifetime have the word "wife" in it?), I am not allowed to turn on the telly today. The quiet would be nice if only the next door neighbors did not have five people leaf-blowing the same two leaves around their yard for the past hour. The time the leaf blowers were running when we had four inches of snow on the ground, I finally broke down and called and complained. I mean, it was easy, they part their stupid "Lifescapes" truck right in front of my house every time, so all I had to do was look out the window to see their phone number. Lifescapes. That sounds like a brand of condoms or something. What the hell is a "lifescape"? You suck Lifescapes. Get a rake. Or better yet, BEND OVER and pick up that leaf. Alright, now I'm turning into Roger Greenberg.

Yeah, so this is what happens to my attitude without television. Maybe I should turn it on before I am completely consumed by rage and some reader who has never taken Psych 101 either diagnoses me as bi-polar.

The Jersey Girls Are Back!

2010-05-03T19:02:00.000-07:00

It's wrong how much I've been looking forward to The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season II premiere tonight! I saw a Noah Baumbach movie today, so I need to balance it out with some trash. I'm assuming this picture that tnewest cast member is a girl...

Real Housewives of NYC - Kill the Messenger

2010-04-30T10:04:00.000-07:00

How can I say it better than Jennifer did in the comments?

I can't wait to hear what you think about last nights epi.
Jill has turned out to be a real attention grabbing sleaze.
I don't know if she will be able to show her face after this season.
As long as you think she is great and lick up every morsel she drops, you're fine. If you have a brain and think for yourself..well then, buy a ticket for the time machine..because Jill will take you all the way back to High School. Alex is right- next week she calls Jill a mean girl. I can't believe a grown women behave this way.
She need to go into some sort of Insecurity and Self Awareness Rehab to address her problems.

I could not agree more. Man, the editors had a field day recording every single snide comment made by Jill and Luann - they were non-stop and they just got pettier and pettier.

So this week I watched and took notes after one glass of wine and it wow, what a crazy episode! It cut from scene to scene, let us get to know a new housewife better (still on her best nice-ness behavior, but going to get plastic surgery for 1/2" of skin that sticks out over her jeans? Does Sonja ever even wear jeans?), introduced a new housewife, let a pregnancy out of the bag and all of the fallout from that, let us see Alex come into her own, told us about Jill's plan to be in the spotlight ON ICE and gave her a chance to name-drop The Donald, showed us that the Countess considers a last-minute Evite "a formal invitation," let us know that Jill and Luann stalk all the other housewives on Twitter even if they aren't speaking to them, we saw what must be the most boring television show ever feature Jill and Bobby talking about Zarin fabrics, we saw a psychic work her magic, and even better in that scene, SONJA'S HUGE-ASS PORTRAIT WITH HER DOG, we saw the culmination of all of Ramona's "renewal" talk, some red hot pants, and we saw that same damn Bravo teaser trailer that makes us think we are going to see Alex say "YOU ARE A MEAN GIRL AND YOU ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL!" at Jill within the next week. Did they show next week's trailer a week early last week or are they really that cruel?

Alright, let's talk about the main points:

1) How can Bethenny be surprised that her "secret" is out? I mean, it's too bad, but when you pee on a stick in front of a camera crew, there are a lot of possible leaks, even if you haven't told any of your friends yet. How weird was it that Jill texted her after being the one to say "We're Done!" ON SPEAKERPHONE IN FRONT OF LUANN (sorry I keep yelling, I just get so annoyed at these people).

2) The women should stop attending each other's events. Seriously. Each week they amp it up to a new level of rudeness. I did think it was funny that Kelly and Jill were so rude during Countess's Bloomingdale's event. Countess came right into Ramona's event and scolded Ramona for not saying hello to her in a bold enough manner (is it good manners to constantly call people darling in a demeaning manner and call them out on what she considers to be bad manners? Emily Post would never have acted like this).

3) Luann is starting to hitch her star to Sonja and Jill is jealous. Talk about high school! Remember the social-climbers who would cozy up until they made it up the next rung of the social ladder? That's our Countess!

4) Kelly's ensembles just get more and more amusing every day. The red hot pants made my night! Who does that? Though if I had her legs, I'm not so sure I wouldn't be strutting them every chance I got. She just needs to keep her lady parts in check, because a C.T. is never in fashion!

5) Jill acted badly too many times to count, but the funniest thing was how she described how she'd be the bigger person at Ramona's event, and then she went in and mocked every single part of it, from the lack of need for a new skin care line to the food served to the photo of Ramona! As appalling as Ramona can be, I'd definitely take her with me to see this dude and grill him for questions if I was getting a half inch of skin removed from my stomach:

At least Ramona's crap comes from honesty and not having any filter. Jill's is coming from an ugly place. I tried to give her a chance because I could tell she was hurt at the beginning of the season, but now I'm with Alex - she's really good at pretending to be nice, and she's just not. Another factor is that sometimes a combination of two people can be, to use the word of the season, toxic. Luann and Jill seem to egg each others' bitchiness on, and they feed off each other in a bad way.

6) ALEX! My new hero. On Watch What Happens Live, many people asked what I've been wondering, which is, are they deliberately filming Simon less this season. Silex's explanation was that now that Alex doesn't have a full-time job, they film her during the day when Simon is at work. Personally, I like Simon SO much better in smaller doses, and I'm very grateful I don't have to see his balls in some horrible bathing suit in St. Barts or watch him moan during a massage in some Hamptons rental that has a toilet in the middle of the master attic, I mean bedroom.

I didn't realize so much was a-stewin' with Alex in regard to Jill. I cannot wait to see her go off! And it is so funny to see that when she is worked up, her chest and neck get all red - it lends authenticity to the moment - we know she is truly on edge and not just showboating like a lot of other people on these shows. I can't believe how much my opinion of her has turned around.

7) Social media - it is hilarious that these ladies all stalk each other on Twitter. The fact that Jill would still follow Bethenny after saying "We're Done!" is so funny to me. Funnier yet is the fact that Bethenny blocked Luann! Even funnier than that is how all the housewives and husbands read each others' blogs! On WWHL, Kim Zolciak was good and mad at Simon for saying he wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole, or something to that effect.

Alright, I'm exhausted. What did you guys think?

Kelly Cutrone at SCAD

2010-04-29T10:19:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh, Kell on Earth wound up being such a dud of a show that I forgot just how much I love Kelly Cutrone. I went to see her speak at SCAD Atlanta yesterday (sporting Atlanta's own Alternative Apparel) and she was so smart, so witty, so hilarious, so practical and knowledgeable and so approachable. She said she was "grateful crying" while watching The City the night before. She talked about her humble upbringings in WAY upstate New York and how after a visit to NYC as a teenager she realized she'd found her tribe, something that had eluded her up to that point. Did you know she was a psychiatric nurse right out of college?

Since she was speaking mostly to art students, she gave a lot of encouraging "be yourself" type of advice. One comment I loved was that she said "when you are ordinary, no one bothers you." That's her theory on why most people are ordinary. She also said that most of the people who have made it big were not rich to begin with, she talked about the numbers and the P.R. involved in starting a new line the "old media way" (staggering - upwards of $350,000 just for one season), and encouraged everyone to surround themselves with a stellar and knowledgeable team.

She is such a master of branding and brand identity. She threw in references to music, Twitter, and even Tavi and she has come up with all kinds of strategies for survival in this economy (though she admitted she lost $500K last year). One of the best was the Pop Up Store idea - going to a landlord of an empty storefront that's going downhill, getting together with a bunch of friends and creating a Pop Up boutique for a few months.

She thrived on Q & A (except for one question about marketing in Second Life, which she said was way beyond her comprehension). The first question came from Project Runway's Michael Knight. He asked why there was not a strong black presence in the high fashion world. She said that the fashion world goes for whatever the consumers want, and steered him toward Dwayne Wayne's mom, Bethann Hardison and Constance White and edgier publications like V in order to get the Black is Beautiful movement going again. In other words, "go where the love is." Michael, I still remember how your model rocked those hot pink hot pants and hope that you can continue to diversify the fashion world. Like Kelly, I'm sick of those 70 pound 15 year old Croations!

The really good news is that she is filming webisodes with MALORIE KEATON! Kelly and Justine Bateman have been BFFs for many years, and I think this one will be a lot more fun than watching the boring Stephanies and Andrews sit around that messy table, or listening to the higher level employees who try to talk just like Kelly. Kell on Earth's magic moments were showing Kelly in action, producing the shows, and showing Kelly with her gorgeous daughter Ava. Unfortunately, there was too much emphasis on invitations and seating arrangements. If I wanted to hear about that stuff, I'd be a wedding planner. Anyway, I just scrolled a bit of kellycutronetv and I like it. I'm subscribing.

By the way, Atlanta is awesome. The room was so packed that they freaking RAN OUT OF CHAIRS! I was going to hang around for the book signing, but the line was endless and I'm just not that patient. However, while making my way back from the Shop SCAD store (awesome, by the way), I walked by a classroom where Kelly was sitting and chatting with her handlers and we made eye contact. It was a moment. Just kidding! But it was funny to hear that very familiar voice coming from just a few feet away.

Another random note, follow Kelly on Twitter here.

The question for tonight is, do I deal with having to listen to Eddie Ross in order to hear Rita Konig and Nick Olsen talk about blogging? I think this one needs a pro / con list!

first photo swiped from jasonaut's twitpics and scribbled on by me. Second and third photos from bravotv.com

The Real Housewives of NYC - The Straight Poop

2010-04-28T11:57:00.000-07:00

OMG, I am SOOOO late you all, I'm sorry! This is typical me. The dog always ate my homework.

Last week I was at the Amelia Island Plantation with my extended family and it was awesome - no muggy Florida heat, no rain, great food, fun on Segways, some drinks called "Bushwhackers" at the pool (and I wonder why I never lose any weight) and fun breakers to ride in the ocean. But no housewives. After catching up on my DVR, my biggest thought is, I MUST GET TICKETS TO ANDY COHEN'S BRAVO PLAYHOUSE! How does one get in there? I picture like seven folding chairs with NPH and Mark Consuelos hanging out and laughing. Bethenny and the gingy from Modern Family were great together - such an improvement from Jill Zarin and her half-asleep mother talking about THE BOOK for a half hour last week.

Also, this is AWESOME! Apparently they have hooked Countess up with some Kim Zolsiak Autotune and some voice lessons from the contestants on Rupaul's Drag Race. I can't seem to get the embed thingee to work today either, so link from here.

SCENE I: A VET NURSE ATTENDS TO GINGER; IN RESPONSE, GINGER POOPS ON ALL THE NEW FURNITURE

So, onto last week's episode, I'm with Ginger the rat dog on this one. Someone needs to sh*t all over Jill Zarin's world. She's out of control nasty lately.

SCENE II: QUICHE IN BROOKLYN

I'm liking this friendship between Alex and Bethenny. it's nice to see Alex as a separate entity from Simon and I'm glad they haven't edited that couple all joined at the hip this season. Typing that makes me think "why can't I EVER remember that there is "a rat" in "separate"? Bethenny is not going to be able to keep that pregnancy secret for very long as her knockers are looking extra bodacious already! And Alex referenced her as "being the runaway bride" in her past - when was that? I would like to know that story. It's nice to see an independent woman waiting until her late thirties to make sure it's the right person, even though we've got a better chance of being held hostage on a plane or something like that! ;)

SCENE III: RAMONA AND SONJA MEET FOR LUNCH

Kodak is definitely onto product placement on reality shows. Sonja recalls that Kelly doesn't recall who the hell she is. Sonja has this in common with Bethenny, as well as some male overlaps. Sonja also gets in some more Samantha Jonesy recycled sexual innuendos.

SCENE IV: KELLY CAN'T MAKE PANCAKES. Yawn.

SCENE V: MOTHER DAUGHTER LUNCH, KINDA TOUCHING ACTUALLY

Ramona asks Dakota Fanning, I mean Avery, to be her maid of honor. Avery very astutely brings up that they should do it on their 20th anniversary, if they must, instead of their 17th anniversary. I think she's onto the fact that Ramona wants to create as many opportunities to say the word "renew" as possible. I think Avery is my favorite person on this show - she's neck-and-neck with Bobby Zarin for this honor.

SCENE VI:$14,000/MONTH FOR A VIEW OF A BRICK WALL

Luann on the Lower East Side, really? I would like to know how much that townhouse went for. Has anyone noticed that Luann has been incorporating pieces of her Pocahontus costume into all over her casual city clothes lately? Lots of boots and necklaces that just get bigger and bigger and brighter and brighter. For how much she makes fun of Kelly's bohemian style, her dress is quite a few inches above her knee and she's looking a bit boho.

SCENE VII: JILL AND FAMILY PLUG THE BOOK

I'm a little worried about Gloria. I'm not going to say anything else on that.

SCENE VIII: THE SINGLES MINGLE

Kelly, Luann and Sonja discuss whether Sagittarians should be on Adderall. Why not just skip right to crystal meth for weight loss. That reminds me of one of my all time favorite SNL skits of all time, Jimmy Tango's Fat Burners starring Jim Carrey. Google it!

They dish about Ramona, do some hair flipping, sip cocktails that won't stain their teeth, and listen to Sonja talk about not "drying up" from lack of sex. Kelly wants a husband and more babies, Luann calls Kelly a child and acts like drinking beer and playing pool is the worst thing she's ever heard. Then she says she didn't think her husband had a cheating problem. Oh, and SNAP! Luann is wearing a Kelly-esque fur vest, after making fun of Kelly's fur vest at Jill's Sak's product placement dinner.

LAME SCENE IN BETWEEN LOUD BRAVO COMMERCIALS WITH THAT HORRIBLE ANNOUNCER:

We learn that the worst job in the world would be being Ramona's assistant.

SCENE IX: KELLY FORGETS TO WEAR PANTS

"I don't feel, at a certain point, that it's appropriate" - Luann

"This was the party, apparently, where we were all told to wear a square of toilet paper and make an outfit out of it...literally, I didn't have a top on, Kelly's vagina was hanging out, Alex's ass cheeks, literally, it was like a yard sale of body parts" - Bethenny

LET'S CHECK OUT THE FASHIONS AND THE SNIPES

Holy Moly, Kelly gives new meaning to the term micro-mini and "dressing really feminine." Ramona makes a nice comment about it, which, according to Kelly's rules of P.R. is a perfect example of P.R. 102.

Jill shows up sporting...A FUR VEST!!! Then she makes fun of Kelly's dress behind her back. At this rate, she and Luann will be wearing micro-minis to the reunion.

Alex shows up in a dress just as short as Kelly's, but MORE see-through. Rock it Alex - those other bitches probably wish they had the running in traffic/skeletor legs needed to pull this off. I know I do.

Once again Luann begs for Mario's apology, this time in Italiano.

Jill says she had no idea Bethenny and Ramona were coming? Really? What season is this? Isn't the whole point of bringing the camera crew to these events that all of them are going to be there and snarkiness will ensue? Jill makes a mean comment implying that Sonja is a huge whore, Kelly drags Jason over for an awkward exchange with Jill and Luann, Jill, queen of all points, says "it's not about points," Simon gets thirty seconds of airtime - I really enjoy him in these small doses and when he's wearing more than a banana hammock, Queen of Class uses this very appropriate opportunity to congratulate Bethenny and tell her she sucks for calling her a snake. Bethenny, master of P.R. 901, says "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" and cleans up the whole mess in one swoop.

Bethenny realizes that Jill's not worth it, and....SCENE!

P.S. This was not the first time this episode that Kelly was showing off her lady parts. Check out these, um, pants?:

God bless whoever picks the stills for bravotv.com - Ramona's eyes, Luann's get-up, Sonja's constant hair flip every time she turns her head...this person is genius. All images from bravotv.com.

RHONYC - New Blogs at Bravotv.com

2010-04-23T08:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I am out of town and missed my housewives action. I promise it will be the first thing I fire up in the DVR on Saturday! In the meantime, Shannon tipped me off to one of the re-vamped blogs at bravotv.com, which I have not had time to read yet. It's Teresa "prostitution whore" table flipper's assessment of everything that is going on in NYC and it's rather entertaining. I get the feeling that Teresa calls every unmarried woman a whore, and every house that someone else has lived in "gross." Anyway, it's definitely worth a read! Oh, and it's here.

Also, our Segway guide here in Florida was from Rochester NY. She said both her parents had worked for Eastman Kodak and now that it's "practically gone" that Rochester is in bad shape. All I could think about was how Jill knew absolutely nothing about Kodak yet she was smiling and accepting their checks. Too funny!

Also, while way too thorough, Simon's blog and take on things always makes me laugh. He writes a freaking book every week; perhaps they should have just printed and bound his blog entries and called that a book, rather than talking about their kids taking Latin and playing twenty instruments. Whatever, it's some good stuff, check it out here.

RHONYC: Sonja is a Sexy Pistol

2010-04-16T15:03:00.000-07:00

Well, this week I'm trying something different; I'm watching the show for the second time and typing as I watch. If I bother with notes, and scanning them, and trying to write from them, it will take me forever!

Sonja Morgan is the new housewife of NYC. The other day Alex said "I'm sick of these ladies. Bring on the NJ housewives already" and I could not agree more. I hate it when they introduce a new housewife. The only one I've liked is Kandi of ATL.

So once again Countess is out begging friends for designer clothes. It gives them a great chance to namedrop all of the brands they wear, which they seem to love doing. It's one thing if someone says "Oh, I love your dress, where did you find it?" It's quite another that it's a normal thing for them to say "Who are you wearing?" like they are Joan Rivers or something. Or the other example, when someone says "You look gorgeous" and they reply "Thanks! This is Dior, and this is five carets!"

Anyway, Countess got another dig in about short skirts with Sonja, apparently she's an equal opportunity digger when people are donating Chanel and Badgley Mischka to her.

Next the producers combine Pepperidge Farm product placement with Bethenny telling Alex that her father wouldn't see her and Jill wouldn't really talk to her.

Next we see that Countess and Jill wear four inch heels to go for a walk in Central Park. I would like Countess to go to a sweat lodge, as she claims she wants to. Hey Jill, if you want to let go of your resentments toward Bethenny, why don't you start with DELETING HER VOICEMAIL MESSAGE FROM THREE MONTHS AGO!!! Also, why would the Count have a heart attack if he knew Countess was dating a Jewish man? Is he an anti-semite?

(FF through Ramona proposing a vow renewal to Mario)

Onto Brooklyn Fashion Week...end! This is some of the funniest crap I have seen in awhile. Jill acting like the world's biggest diva and getting mean digs in as much as possible (attacking Kelly over the amends she made with Bethenny, making fun of Ramona's jewelry, telling Ramona her bra is showing, acting like she's in a garbage dump, talking crap about the clothes not fitting right, etc.). What kind of a person gets "so pissed off" over someone sending someone else a pleasant tweet? What kind of a person follows this stuff? Doesn't she have anything better to do?

Kelly is right - she does look like a linebacker in strapless! Alex did a very nice job modeling, though Jill said "she has the body of a fashion model, not the face" and then "she's walking too fast, tell her to slow down!" Now Ramona walking the runway was absolutely hilarious. It's funny to see that a lot of her crazy comes from being really nervous. I think the better moment was Ramona dancing in the Hamptons last season, but this was a close second.

Kelly takes Simon shopping (stupid and so contrived), and are you really telling me that Bethenny took her very first preggo test for the cameras? And with the door open? Don't you have to wait ten minutes to see the results? Did they really need to show her bare butt on a toilet seat?

Product placement for Kodak with Jill as the token endorsement gig. Kodak is way into doing these reality shows, I just saw them do something on Celebrity Apprentice. Even though Ramona's comments were inappropriate (and accurate), she didn't wasn't as bad as how Jill behaved at the fashion show, or at least not any worse. Jill comes into the show picking at Ramona and making fun of her for wearing her own jewelery, then laughs at her during her entire walk. Ramona fires back by saying that Kodak is outdated and in financial trouble, and starting a shouting match during Jill's presentation. Where was Countess with her etiquette lesson back in Brooklyn.

After giving Ramona a lecture on editing herself, Countess immediately brings up the awkward topic of Max to Sonja in front of Kelly, just to embarrass Kelly for her own amusement. Kelly and Ramona squabble; Kelly is obviously still pissed that Ramona made fun of her lopsided boobs in front of everyone at Saks.

I like Jill even less after watching her on Watch What Happens Live. Even Andy Cohen was annoyed with how much she plugged her stupid book. That's the last time he should let a housewife and her mother bet the two guests. Bring back Liam Neeson or Kristen Johnson, please!

So doing the posts this way - it sucks - I don't like what I've written at all, but I'm dying to hear what you all thought, so I'm simply going to hit Publish. I am a girl who needs my notes! I think taking them and looking at them later helps me edit out the unimportant stuff, and makes me funnier somehow. Here it's almost like an "in case you missed it" summary with some opinions included. Sorry! I've got too much packing to do to do a better job this week!

A New Housewife?

2010-04-15T19:15:00.000-07:00

I'm five minutes into RHONYC and I smell a new housewife. Her name is Sonya and she's getting botox and talking about herself a lot. Luann called her a "pistol". Oy Vey...

9 by Design

2010-04-15T09:53:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys, I am trying to get a little conversation about 9 by Design started over at Hatch. If you want to chat, I BEG YOU to please come over and give us your two cents over there!

P.S. I saw Kandi from Real Housewives of Atlanta in the bathroom of The Capital Grille on my birthday the other night. I was rather buzzed from all of the wonderful free drinks they kept bringing us and I'm pretty sure I told her that I loved her as I walked into a stall - how embarrassing is that? She and her friend were really nice and friendly and could not have been more gracious to an obnoxious birthday girl.

The funniest thing is, when my friend and I first sat down, she said "this is where all the movers and the shakers are" and I said "yeah, and I bet we see a Real Houswife!"

photo from bravotv.com

Vera at the Atlanta Botanical Garden!

2010-04-13T13:30:00.000-07:00

I'm a huge fan of Vera Neumann, and I just noticed this posting at The Atlanta Botanical Gardens just caught my eye. They don't give much of an explanation of what the exhibit is, but I'm going to check it out when I go for the Canopy Walk Preview at the end of this month, so I'll let you know!

Vera
The Lady Behind the Ladybug
March 16 - May 31

Colorful botanical art and scarves designed by Vera Neumann bring a vibrant splash of color and light to the Art Gallery in the Fuqua Orchid Center. The extensive archives of the late artist and entrepreneur are owned by The Vera Company, based in Atlanta. For more than four decades, Vera painted hundreds of designs first for placemats and scarves then for an ever-expanding empire of clothing and housewares. Rising in popularity again, the bold, colorful designs have been reintroduced to a new generation of Vera fans, especially young celebrities. The exhibition showcases the joy expressed in the Smithsonian honored artist's work. Many Vera items are available for purchase in the Garden Gift Shop.

Real Housewives of New York - Ingrateful Sabotagers!

2010-04-12T08:59:00.000-07:00

O.K. First and formost, to Bethenny and Ramona:

An "ingrate" is a person who is "UNgrateful." There is no such word as "ingrateful."

OK, I just have to say, the best things about this week were Liam Neeson giving the finger on the aftershow and the previews for next week. I can't wait to see Ramona's eyes bulging out of her head when she walks the runway next week!

We begin with Ramona and Bethenny strolling across the Brooklyn Bridge, which Ramona has never done before, which I find astounding. I think I do it every time I go to New York. Of course, this probably has a lot to do with the fact that I stay in Brooklyn Heights with my friends, but still, I highly recommend it. It's cool.

Ramona says a few really mean things to Bethenny, but you know, even though she's coarse and rude, she is often coming from the right place and calls it out exactly right. For instance, you shouldn't call someone an underdog or tell them they are probably going to lose their relationship and that they have no friends, but she's right. My favorite is that Ramona calls Bethenny a self-serving pressmonger, while she sports a True Faith t-shirt, all of her HSN jewelry and says the word "renew" whenever she can on the show.

Jill has turned into a total A-hole. This surprises me, as I always liked Jill. Clearly she's hurt, but the snide things she did to other people always seemed lighter in past seasons, because her friendship with Bethenny was so much fun to watch. They seemed to bring out the best in each other and were good foils for each other. Luann, on the other hand, helps to amp up the worst in Jill. She's always egging her on and she seems very possessive over Jill. She had no right to come in and interrupt with tea parties and end conversations. Jill can hold her own.

I think this little mean girls action between the two women scorned, Jill and Luann, is making them both infinitely more unlikable. I still hold out hope for liking Jill again, but Luann, I'm onto you and all of your bitchy digs you get in at people. Making fun of someone for wearing short skirts while they are donating things to your charity is not classy. Saying it in French won't fix that either.

We had another Saks commercial while Jill brags about her new Diamond card and Ginger the dog passes gas all over the Ex-Countess. I never liked that little ratty dog until she did that. Now she's my favorite animal besides Bubby.

Finally, we get to Ramona's crazy plan to ambush Jill. Yes, this was an ambush. She should have done it on a day when Luann was not present. By the way, did you get a load of Luann's GASP when she saw Bethenny? I think the girls may have worked something out if Luann had not been there. I don't really think this was a sabotage, as the women kept calling it. What I would really like is for these girls (and all of the housewives from every show) to get together and take an elementary school Language Arts class. Although, besides using "ingrateful," Bethenny usually has a great vocabulary.

I'm all over the place on this one. What I enjoyed was that Ramona is nuts and I love it, Kelly is so stupid that it's pure comedy, like when she asks 12 year old boys if they are wearing underwear, Alex and Simon are quite endearing when they are not being portrayed as social climbers and are just being themselves and chilling in Brooklyn, when Luann calls you "sweetheart" you should be more offended than if she called you the nastiest word you can think of, and Ginger is my new hero.

In the Watch What Happens LIVE episode afterwards, 97% of the audience was on Team Bethenny and 3% on Team Jill. Much as I like Bethenny, I don't think an entire show about her is going to be half as good as a show that has her in an ensemble cast. Also, I noticed that Andy has Kelly's Bikini Book behind his head on the set.

By the way my RHONY Bubb readers, I have a feeling you will love these Sassy Gay Friend shorts from Second City. Have you seen them? Start with Romeo and Juliet. I haven't laughed this hard at anything in awhile, and I usually don't get into spreading internet videos, but this one is COMEDY GOLD!

images via bravotv.com

Real Housewives of NYC

2010-04-10T16:25:00.000-07:00

I still have to do my post, but more importantly, did anyone catch a purple wine-stained toothed Liam Neeson flipping Justin Beiber the bird and Bravo immediately cutting to black a little too late on Watch What Happens Live? It was priceless!

By the way, I just realized I have no idea how to spell either of those last names, and I don't care enough to go google them.

Flipping Out Update: Jeff Lewis on QVC

2010-04-07T08:04:00.000-07:00

Um, Why didn't anyone tell me that Jeff Lewis is shilling home stuff over at QVC? I've never ordered anything from QVC, and I always thought of it as a gold mine for D-List celebrities to make ugly jewelry for and a place where outdated purses go to die, but lately some action over there has piqued my interest. Action like John Robshaw pillows and Nate Berkus furnishings. Anyway, I finally figured out how to make my little Bubb Report Facebook page have favorites so that my 20 fans, most of whom are related to me, can see what the Bubbs likes. While searching out my favorite people, blogs, and brands, I found Jeff Lewis's page on Facebook and he had shared his goods awhile back. I like his X Chrome and Leather bench. I like it a lot. The color is perfect, isn't it? What do you call that? Cognac?:

Those dust-gathering glass thingees with the balls in them and the ubiquitous Chinese garden stool have got to go though. Hmmm, on second thought, I see that the stool is under $50, which is really cheap for one of those. Personally, I prefer to see them in the garden and not in the living room.

Also, Jeff launched a new website. Now, hopefully when you search his name, his site will pop up first instead of Ryan's site! That was a fun little fix to tide me over until Flipping Out starts up again.

If you want to become a fan of The Bubb Report on Facebook, please click here. And thanks to the twenty of you who already have done so. I promise to figure out what the heck to do with it...someday!

The Countess in her Bachelorette Pad

2010-04-06T12:07:00.000-07:00

Oh how I used to envy Luann's townhouse in Manhattan. Well, it looks like she got the Hamptons house in the divorce (not too shabby), but has had to downsize to a bachelorette pied-a-terre in the city. People had a sneak peek in this week's issue. In case you missed it, here it is:

So, what do you think of it? I think it's nice, but rather uninspired and unoriginal. I do like those crazy zebra lamps; I think she had those at the townhouse.

A New Word that Replaces a Swear Word...

2010-04-04T20:22:00.000-07:00

This Sunday's New York Times crossword taught me a word I had not heard before: foozle. I like it. I like it a lot. In a nutshell, it means to eff up. Doesn't it sound so much better, and a little like Snoop Doog, to say "wow, she really foozled that one!" Apparently, it usually has to do with golf, but I'm going to bring it to errors across all sports and actions.

After watching Bethenny at the learning center, I'm trying to clean up my language a bit!

The Countess on the Salehis

2010-04-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

I was trying to find pictures of Luann's new bachelorette pad online, so that I wouldn't have to take a picture of my People (yes, I am that lazy, I'm watching some horrible house be horribly renovated on "Flip This House" and I don't want to get up!), and I came across this gem of an article at New York Magazine Online - it's Luann's opinion of those White House crashing Salehis. My favorite quote:

It's one thing if you crash Paris Hilton's party, but to crash the White House is another!

Luann sounds perfectly civilized, until she gets in this barb:

New York Magazine: Is this something a Real Housewife should do?

Luann: No. I mean, in New York, we're the real deal, we actually get invited into parties. We're trying to keep party crashers out of our parties.

NY Magazine: So you don't think any of the Real Housewives of New York would crash a party?

Luann: No. Well, maybe Alex and Simon. [Laughs] That's mean.

Fun with Polyvore

2010-04-03T10:05:00.000-07:00

In an effort to wean myself off Bejeweled Blitz, I played around on Polyvore for hours last night (a big Friday night, I know!). Do you use it? Some of the collages on there are truly mind-blowing. I used to collage a lot with actual ripped up paper in architecture school, and seeing how people do it on Polyvore blows my mind, especially the dreamy, fantastical ones by Japanese artists. Check some of these out:

Untitled by Erin Okamoto featuring Harajuku Lovers shoes

the clone wars by bewareofdogma featuring Alexander McQueen dresses

The perfect loft by Erin Okamoto on Polyvore.com

Rocker Blake Lively by Karine Minzon Wilson featuring Tom Ford sunglasses

If you use it, I have a question for you. Is there a way to save different iterations of the same set? For instance, I thought I had saved a version of this minus the shoes and bags, but when I added stuff to the collage, the original, unaccessorized seemed to disappear, even though it had previously been "published". I was in a really preppy mood last night, and trying to figure out how to modernize my outdated-ly Shabby Chic-ed guestroom. I want to keep the pink and green, but I don't want everything to look as shabby as it does now. All I need now is a $10,000 credit to Pieces and I'm good to go:

Preppy Girl's Room II by thebubbreport on Polyvore.com

Anyway, if you use it, I would love to know who some of your favorite Polyvore mavens are PLEASE SHARE THEM WITH ME IN THE COMMENTS! It seems overwhelming to sort through, but mostly I've been finding people whose work I like and then checking out who they like, and who they like, etc. It is SO much fun to use - I highly recommend it. Oh, and if you haven't used Polyvore before, click on one of the images above. Once you get clicking around, you can see all the little pieces they used to make up the collage, and where to buy the actual items!

Real Mean Girls of New York City

2010-04-02T15:21:00.000-07:00

See the showdown here.

All right. I'm going to whip this out without trying to hard. I didn't even take notes or watch twice; this is totally off the cuff. Otherwise, as I proved last week, I'll never get around to posting. I never got around to blogging about the NYC ladies last week. It was basically one long commercial for Saks Fifth Avenue anyway. I've FINALLY gotten hip to a few Bravo television shows, especially these NYC characters:
1) When there is an event hosted by one of these ladies, it is pure product placement, and it is not because they are the best customer Sak's ever had.

2) These NYC women have always been relatively saavy (relative, to say, Danielle Staub or Dashawn Snow) about the press. They strive to be in it, which makes them wannabes (think Alex at the opera in the leopard print and The New York Times), and even more, they love to throw some dirt at each other in it. After observing Jill suck up to Cindy Adams last season, Bethenny knows damn well that Jill planted this piece about her. This doesn't QUITE fit in with Bethenny's branding plan, but you know, all publicity is...whatever.

Speaking of branding, I think Ramona has taken Bethenny's advice about trying to make everything under one brand a bit to far. If you drank every time she said "Renew" last night, you would have been dead from alcohol poisoning about twenty minutes into the episode. However, as crazy as her eyes are, I am taking fewer grains of salt with everything Ramona says this season, as she was spot on last year when she said "Jill likes the underdog." I thought that was awful at the time, but she was right. Thus, if Ramona says that Kellys boobs were cross-eyed, I'm thinking they probably were. However, I do agree that it was outrageous to ask her if she'd had her crooked boobs fixed in the middle of Saks Fifth Avenue dinner. That kind of comment is much more appropriate at a picnic at Kohl's.

"This has Jill's grubby fingerprints all over it..."

Jill, this is a MAJOR phone-pas

I have always been a big Jill Zarin fan, and at first I was blaming her hurt feelings, a tough summer, and Luann's influence for her current bad behavior, but now it's worsened. Jill, you look like bitchy queen bee (only with horrible clothes and a bad haircut that is way too young for you) at a slumber party. SPEAKERPHONE? I am so embarrassed for you that you did that. It's terrible and worse than that, it's daaaaaaaamn tacky! I think after this, countess and Jill made a slam book and put pins in a Bethenny Voodoo Doll. They probably had one for the Count's mistress too. That one, by the way, is totally acceptable. Emailing everyone who has a truce with Bethenny that they have to pick sides is another Queen Bee of 7th Grade move.

By the way, what set Kelly off on Bethenny? I couldn't quite hear Bethenny's comment. It started off with Kelly schooling Ramona, and then turned into a Kelly/Bethenny brouhaha. It's quite obvious that they watched themselves on television last season, saw how ridiculous they looked, and agreed to be fake. By the way, I met someone who has met Kelly this past week and she confirmed that she is a big b*tch.

Oh, and regarding Kelly working for Elle, I didn't realize her ex had a big position there, I just knew he was the photographer whose name Tyra likes to say a lot. Now I see the nepotism. Clearly, Kelly paved the way for people like Olivia Palermo to be ineffective token socialite employees over at Elle.

As for Kelly and the flirty "interview" with Bradley Cooper's doppleganger, I mean, do I really have to say anything? The guy is doing the interview to go with the naked photos of you that he's already seen. Kelly fished for compliments the entire time. Then she admitted at the end that it was a little competition she was having to see if she could get him to ask her out. Then later she cancelled saying that it was unethical to go out with a journalist who was writing about her. Um, doesn't she call herself a journalist? Shouldn't she have known that long before the flirtation? And s she expecting a Vanity Fair type article about herself? Aren't Playboy "interviews" a little form with answers to what the naked woman's favorite hobbies and colors are?

Ah, I'm being SO MEAN! Let's look at the positive. I'm not going to bother commenting on the style at Brooklyn Fashion Weekend, or Luann's dating conversation with Victoria. I want to give a mazel to Ally. Ally is adorable, and I love that she was modeling for Seventeen. I thought Kelly and Jill were both at their best at this photo shoot, and seemed downright likable during it. If Jill is married to a great guy like Bobby and has a daughter who turned out as great as Ally did, she can't be all bad. She's just going through a really bad phase. I hope she snaps out of it. I can't believe her yenta of a mother would approve of her recent behavior.

Oh, in other news, on Watch What Happens, LIVE!, Andy Cohen confirmed that Bethenny and Jason are getting their own show. Hmmmph. I can hear the "baby"s now. I think Bethenny is hilarious, but I can't see her carrying her own show. I think they are introducing a new housewife this season, as in the "coming up this season" trailers, Luann calls someone "sassy" or "spunky" or something like that. I forget her name - does anyone remember? It's something like Sophie or Cecilia? What do you think of Bethenny's new show? Are you on Team Zarin or Team Frankel?

all images from bravotv.com

OK, Found my RH Notes

2010-03-30T18:27:00.000-07:00

Well, Miss Bubby found my notebook for me. It was on my scanner, r.t.g. Who woulda thunkit? So, here are my notes, I think I will try to make sense of them while watching The Millionaire Matchmaker (love me some Patti! What a yenta!) and get SOMETHING posted! In the meantime, let me know what you thought of last Thursday's housewife train wreck. Personally, I think they all need to be banned from fashion shows.

The Real Housewives of NYC

2010-03-30T16:09:00.000-07:00

Oh my god, what is wrong with me? I take these COPIOUS notes while watching RH on Thursday nights, stay up for "Watch What Happens" with my dream gay husband Andy Cohen, then all of the sudden it's freaking Tuesday and I have not written to you guys about it yet. What is wrong with me? My excuse for Friday is babysitting, Saturday is martinis, Sunday is recovering from martinis, yesterday is houseguests, but I have GOT to get it together. It's Tuesday and I can't remember what happened and I can't find my notes, because I "neatened up" for said houseguests. This means notebooks and mags are tucked under couch cushions and beds.

I am not going to give up. I'm going to go look under all of my cushions right now. One of my houseguests, who shall remain anonymous, said she met Kelly at a party once and that Kelly was a big old bitch. I also noticed that Chelsea Handler said exactly the same thing about Kelly's fur rant and messing with PETA.

Speaking of Chelsea, I went to see her at The Fox on Sunday. She and Heather Long Boobs McDonald were absolutely hilarious. The crowd was not so great though. People, when you are at a comedy show in a huge theater, do not yell "WOOOOOO" in the middle of a joke, or "I LOVE YOU CHELSEA!" or "THE GAYS LOVE YOU CHELSEA!" She knows. She just came from a book signing at Outwrite (Outright? Whatever - I'm not sure which way the pun is working here) Books, for the love of God. Just let her get through her set and shut up. There are hundreds of other people in the audience who don't need to hear your inappropriately-timed screams.

Speaking of Outwrite Books, here is a really dumb conversation Heather and I had today:

ME: I wish I would have known Chelsea was doing a signing before the show at Outwrite Books. I would have gone.

HEATHER: Oh, that would have been cool.

ME: Yeah, that place is super-gay.

HEATHER: Why do you say that?

ME: Because it's a gay bookstore. Located at Piedmont and 10th Street, the gay nexus of Atlanta, you know, right by Blake's.

HEATHER: OH! HAHAHAHA!

OK, off to find my retro composition notebook with my notes in it.

-Becky

P.S. I bought even MORE Liberty of London stuff at Target today. I restrained myself SOME, that is to say, I didn't get the bowls, four canisters, and the peacock mugs. Oh or the piggy bank. But I did get a nightgown, boxers, a folder with a clipboard thingee on it, a lampshade, some skivvies, and a small canister. Thank god the dinnerware is melamine, which I hate, or I would have bought a full set for a dinner party that I'll never have. If you are looking for it in Atlanta, the Atlantic Station Target has been fully replenished with inventory, but it's going quickly again!

This is NOT What Oprah Had in Mind

2010-03-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

I couldn't help myself. I watched Pretty Wild on E! Seriously, what is the world coming to? When did the children stop being our future? This is a terrifying future. This idiot mother loads all three of her daughters up on Adderall and then "home schools" them. Someone needs to call the truant officer, because this is what their schooling is all about:

I home school the girls four days a week...I"m basing all of the curriculum on the movie "The Secret".

There is so much wrong with that sentence I don't even know where to begin. How old are these girls? When they aren't making vision boards about character for "school", they are modeling lingerie, swinging on stripper poles and flashing their breastsesses on national TV. And how lazy do you have to be to base your teachings on THE MOVIE VERSION of a really lame BOOK that says the same thing over and over and over again? Yeah, I admit I read it. My best friend made me.

When one of these idiots gets arrested for the Hollywood burglaries, her family shrieks "She waived her right to an attorney. She doesn't even know what that means!" Um, maybe if she went to SCHOOL she would. Perhaps next weeks curriculum should be watching Law and Order reruns all day on TNT.

Guess Who These Girls Are

2010-03-25T13:56:00.000-07:00

Thank you thank you Alex! I don't know where the heck you find this stuff. If you watched a certain boring Bravo show on Monday night and heard a blatant name drop, you'll have an idea of who these two young chicks are!

High Society, Low Class

2010-03-24T14:35:00.000-07:00

If you want to see some of the worst, tackiest, most ridiculous trash you've ever seen in your life, check out High Society tonight. My channel in Atlanta is UPAH. I don't even know what that is - the CW maybe? Hmmm, yup, it is. I can't keep things straight ever since The WB ceased to exist. Anyway, look it up. For reasons that are obviously to say "screw you" to her ex-in-laws, Tinsley Mortimer has decided to associate herself with a bunch of the worst people on earth and have it recorded and aired to the nation. Words cannot express how horrible these people are, especially Jules and some horrible queen whose name escapes me - it's something like P.J. However, it's a train wreck and I cannot stop watching. Why? Because it reminds me that I am a much, much better person than these people, and that not even old money can equal class. Case in point, Tinsley's psycho freak faced nosy social-climbing mother.

As for Tinsley, she seems to have more class than her castmates (Kim, Ramona, and Tamara have more class than these people, if that gives you a yardstick), but I cannot fathom why a socialite in her early thirties would associate with these people. She'd be so much better off if she ran away with an Up With People troupe.

I am so scared of these people I don't even want to put any photos with this, but if you've missed it, I highly recommend episode two. It will terrify you. Check it out here.

RHONY: Fall in New York

2010-03-22T18:46:00.000-07:00

This is the classic example of the meddling person with bad intentions swooping in and getting in the middle of something that is none of her business.

EXCUSES, EXCUSES:
So, I am finally getting caught up on my Bravo. I thought last week's episode with the dueling Labor Day parties was a real snore, so I'm not even gonna go there. Both of those "parties" looked about as fun as watching Olympic curling. This week was definitely more interesting, though I have a bone to pick with Bravo. They take the most interesting, cliff hanging moment of the episode to put in their trailers. Then after a week of seeing the big moment and being teased by it, you tune into the episode, only to find that the advertised moment is the last moment of the episode and you're still left hanging. It's cheap Bravo, and I don't like it.

KELLY, PLAYBOY, & PETA:
So, we see Kelly posing for Playboy. I think it's funny that Jill had to call her out on the fact that it wasn't Playboy's 40th anniversary issue, but rather, maybe, the 40th anniversary of the bunny costume. She had to put Kelly in her place and tell her that Playboy anniversaries mean nothing. Obviously Kelly was begging for this gig by wearing the bunny costume when she missed her own Halloween party last year.

I have envied this apartment since I saw it in a magazine a few years ago. It rocks. I think it's funny that someone with this apartment thinks that her lifestyle is bohemian.

Speaking of this casts large collection of nude photos of themselves, did anyone actually see the pictures of Alex? I thought it was so snarky that Luann said something like "being in Playboy is a totally different thing than Alex's nude photos." Luann is really showing some truly awful colors this season. She was totally cool season one, she was rude to fat little girls in season two, and now she's an all out terror.

CELEBRITY RULE #1: DON'T MESS WITH PETA!:
A very important issue that will be a blast to see play out is that Kelly messed with PETA. She was trying to get a dig in at Bethanny, saying that there was no contest between Playboy and PETA, and that she wears fur. Then she went on this nonsensical blabberfest - this is awesome:

Do I wear fur? Yes. Do I support the abuse of animals? No...I've always been a great fur wearer.

I would love to see how this woman would do on an I.Q. Test. I also CANNOT WAIT to see what PETA does. Everyone knows you don't mess with PETA. They will cut you! What an idiot! We do have one thing in common though. We both have our purses on display in a bedroom like they are art. The difference is, hers are Hermes.

THE LEARNING ANNEX:
OK, so Bethenny "teaching" at The Learning Annex. Of course I thought of Carrie Bradshaw bombing at her own class "Bright Lights, Date City". Bethenny is very funny, but she should not give up her day job - she is not ready for stand up. I mean, I have a potty mouth but watching that made me want to give up swearing - it just sounded uneducated and insecure to be saying the f-word in mixed company like that. You're no Kathy Griffin Bethenny. Oh, and your blog, which used to be hilarious, is horrible now. What happened?

Somebody wash this girl's mouth out with soap!

GENERALLY SPEAKING ABOUT THIS SEASON'S DYNAMICS:
I guess what's strange this season is how much the dynamics have changed. Jill is obviously very hurt and has had a terrible year with Bobby's illness, and I'm going to cut her some slack and say she's not herself, but man, she is behaving badly. She's rude to everyone. For example, why was the first thing she said to Alex at some party a mean comment about her kids? What did Alex ever do to her? She even had ZARIN fabrics outfit her crazy townhouse. Then she dug at Kelly about not knowing the Playboy anniversary thing. She made a bunch of rude comments about Ramona at Ramona's yacht party. She's just cutting everyone down all of the time, and it's really ugly to be like that. It's usually a sign that someone is trying to deflect attention from themself. Oh, and obviously, she saved Bethenny's voice mail to play during filming season and to play to everyone she can find.

Thanks for being consistent Mario!

This season is really backwards. I mean, I'm finding I actually like Ramona's hair, Alex and Simon look downright charming and sweet compared to everyone else, Kelly is the only one with a sense of decorum at a fashion show, and the Countess of Manners is the rudest bitch on the block. What gives? At least Mario is consistently a total jackass. It's so comforting to be able to count on SOMETHING with this show! OK Bethenny, I can't give up the swearing either. I get it.

The definition of awkward!

I WANT ANDY COHEN TO BE MY GAY HUSBAND:

Are any of you as nuts as I am in that you never miss a Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen? This week was hilarious. Actually, he's always hilarious. He had the awesome Miss Patti LaBelle, and then Kelly. Kelly just laughed the whole time and bombed. She had to have been the most uninteresting guest he's ever had on the show. But I did learn that originally she was up for Tim Gunn's style show, and when they "went in another direction," Andy begged her to do Real Housewives. I thought that was interesting. I am also waiting to hear a whole lot more about all of these men Luann was apparently parading around town with all of these years. Perhaps she and the Count had a very open European relationship or something. It seems like more and more of Luann's mask is being torn off this season, and I'm beyond just feeling sorry for her over the divorce.

BREAKING DWIGHT NEWS:

In other news, a friend of mine had to wait on DA-Wight from RH Atlanta the other day and he was an obnoxious diva beyond divas. Totally rude, put down the food, and kept her running on purpose. Also, she reported that he was wearing more makeup than all the four year olds in the Little Miss Princess Pageant combined. Speaking of bad makeup, Jill Zarin really needs to cut that blush she has on in the confessionals. It's totally '80s and has the look of a bad case of Rosacea.

all images swiped from bravotv.com

Real Houswives of NYC

2010-03-22T13:31:00.000-07:00

Oh my lord, I cannot seem to get my Bravo watching together. OK, I admit it, instead of blogging I have become hooked on "Bejeweled Blitz" on Facebook. It reminds me of when my college roommates all chipped in and got me my own Gameboy because they were sick of me hogging theirs to play Tetris. I have a problem! Seriously, put me on Dr. Drew's not a Celebrity Bejeweled Blitz Rehab. But while I am busy compiling my notes, here is a rough copy of what I thought!

-Becky

2010-03-16T14:26:00.000-07:00

Did anyone else notice that the emaciated male models in the Urban Outfitters catalog look a lot like Edward Cullen meets J. Crew but with some sort of lame ironic hipster sensibility? Seriously, that tie is the stupidest thing I've seen in awhile. I'd rather see a guy in a bollo tie than in that. To get the Edwin Cullen look, don't go out in the sun for a year, don't eat anything, and let your beard grow out for about five days. Oh, and put a lot of product in your hair and make it go straight up from your forehead. Then run your fingers through it and mess it up a little bit. Wha-lah. You're straight outta Twilight.

I do kinda like the way they style their catalogs, even though the cover of it had a waif standing in the ocean wearing big fishing boots and her underwear, for no apparent reason. She looked really cold, since she was missing pants and any trace of a fat cell on her body.

Mat Hatter Inspiration

2010-03-16T12:55:00.000-07:00

So Alice is a hit! How much do you want to bet that fashion will fall down the rabbit hole next season? Anthropologie always has an Alice in Wonderland vibe going on. I wonder which designers will hop on the bandwagon? I can see John Paul Gaultier doing something fantastic and over the top with this, and Rodarte playing with the dark side of it.

Have you seen the movie yet? I haven't, but I probably will. I'd go see any Johnny Depp movie; I could watch one of him taking a nap. Did that sound creepy? I didn't mean for it to. Perhaps I should say, I could watch a movie of him reading the phone book instead!

P.S. Sorry for all of the corny puns. I can't stop myself sometimes.

Liberty of London for Target

2010-03-15T19:38:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I'm probably the millionth blogger with that title. What's funny is that faced with a night of terrible TV options and not currently reading a book since I finished Game Change last night, I ran to the Target at Edgewood at 8:00 p.m. to go check it out. By the way, did you know Target is open until 11:00 p.m.? That is kind of awesome, though I don't like being in that parking lot alone after dark. Anyway, back to the Lib - I was so sad. Every endcap looked like this, or was even more empty:

I mean, didn't this just come out like two days ago? Luckily, there were many dresses and coats left. OK, don't judge me, I went hog wild, mostly in a panic from the fact that everything had disappeared from Target.com and the store. In addition to the coat, and cute little A-line dress I got (all of the other styles would pretty much require going brawer-less, which is just not an option. The tunics, while the prints were cute, were just one step too far over the crazy old lady/Marcia Brady look. I like to throw in one element of crazy old lady into my ensembles sometimes, but these were more crazy old lady outfit complete with rolled down nude knee-high LEGGS hosiery with open toe orthopedic sandals crazy old lady, you know what I mean? For example, on someone my size, though adorable, this print top would not look good:

Anyway, apparently I must plan on opening up my own Liberty of London boutique, because this was my haul, minus the clothes (pardon the lack of styling, I was exhausted dragging it in from the car, and mad at myself for receiving a year's worth of plastic bags, as I had forgotten to bring my own). If there was a not-yet-empty endcap left in the store when I got there, it was empty when I left!

It's probably a good thing they were out of china and bedding and little girl's dresses and bathing suits and lots of the papergoods! So yes, my gift closet is full, and I won't have to buy another present for anyone for about five years. Alright, I know half of the crap the Hoarders people have is "gifts," but really, I have actual people in mind who will actually receive these goodies, I swear!!! That is, unless I start getting too attached and greedy. Oh man, I really blew the "one in, one out" rule from Unclutter Your Life in One Week, a book I've been trying to live by. Oh well, I lasted about three weeks!

Kell on Earth

2010-03-09T21:09:00.000-08:00

Well, Kell on Earth has fizzled. Actually, it never got off the ground. It is really boring. First of all, if you are going to have a tv show filmed in your office, clean the place up. Perhaps add some paint. You have a bunch of interns who do nothing - make them fold stuff neatly, like the people who work at The Gap who have those folding boards. Second, besides Kellly, everyone on that show is really boring, and every single one of them needs speech therapy to help them from sounding totally annoying. They should call up Drew Barrymore and hire that person who coached her for Grey Gardens. That therapist is clearly a miracle. Third, well, who cares, the above reasons are enough to not have anything to say about the show. It's horrible.

OH, and how convenient that Kelly is writing a book called If You Have to Cry, Go Outside. Also, what's up with all of these reality people saying that they are "writing" a book? They sit around and talk to some poor ghost writer (all the while being filmed for the Bravo show), who tries to imitate the "author's" voice in first person, very poorly. See Never Make the Same Mistake Twice "by" Nene Leakes. Watching the Countess go over content with her writer was hilarious as well. Oh, and then we have to watch their photo shoots for the cover. Yawn. Enough with the books already. Milk your shows with some tacky HSN jewelry, or a skin care line, or a wig line, or Closet Freak, or She by Sheree, or Cuff Love, or terrible tasting margaritas, or fabrics...

I'll be unable to watch RH until Saturday (torture, but oh, but that will be a sweet day!) so I hope to catch up with you all then!

image from bravotv.com

The Oscars

2010-03-08T13:46:00.000-08:00

Oh, there will be eight million people blogging about the Oscars, but really, I just wanted to make a few comments. Fashion - all about Big Dress and Small Hair. Lots of the big dresses were obviously influenced by Lady Gaga, and after her, Kate Hudson's Gaga-influence dress at the Globes. Especially...

Gaga Light on Amand Seyfried:

And full on J. Lo Gaga:

Didn't Anne Hathaway wear this in her musical number at the Oscars last year?

In case you are forgetting, here is a Gaga inspiration:

I loved Demi Moore, Tina Fey, Nicole Richie (Ritchie? Whatever), SJP, Kate Winslet and Maggie G. I'm on the fence about Charlize's "someone is grabbing my boobs from behind" number - it was a major improvement from that heavy Dior she wore last year. I'm also on the fence about Diane Kruger. I loved the dress but everyone seems to hate it. I hated Vera Farmican'trememberherlastname's dress, though the color and shape were beautiful. I think Cameron Diaz could have pulled that off, but that's about it. This was my worst dressed nominee, by far. Sorry Zoe, but WTH is that thing? I do think Lady Gaga could pull this off and that's about it:

Oh, but the prettiest person there by far was this smokin' hot specimen:

all pictures swiped from Style.com. I hope that's OK. I was way too lazy to take pictures of my TV.

Derek J. Tweeted Me!

2010-03-06T14:36:00.000-08:00

I'll admit it, every now and then I tweet a bravolebrity. After watching Good Hair (which I HIGHLY recommend), I just had to tweet Derek J. and tell him how much I loved his performance at the hair show. I simply must score tickets to this next time it happens.

If you haven't seen it, I don't want to spoil the jaw-dropping spectacle that occurs at the end of the doc, but you will not be disappointed. This was a really well-done documentary by Chris Rock, which explores black hair, its maintenance, its significance, and the cultural and sociological meaning of the lengths these women go to to have "good hair." Some black women are mad at Chris for letting the world, especially white women, know what they go through (or at least that's what a few Oprah guests said when it came out). However, like with most things, like saying "girlfriend" and "oh no he didn't," white women not only do not look down on this black trend, they imitate it like wildfire. I'm quite sure weaves (a.k.a. extensions) and straightening among all the other races is at an all-time high right now, and continue to grow more popular. But I digress. Here's my Twitter exchange:

P.S. Hey Kristen, remember when your mom called first year and said "does Becky understand what you are doing to your hair?" :)

Real Housewives of NYC Notes

2010-03-06T13:10:00.000-08:00

See a few posts down for the typed recap!

Cleaning Blog House

2010-03-06T12:28:00.000-08:00

I think I already told you all that I have been taking Holly Becker's Blogging Your Way Class for the past seven weeks. I cannot recommend this class enough. For me, I've been struggling to find a focus for this blog. Also, as a person who is anything but technologically saavy, and it's forcing me to deal with some of the ways the blog is presented. So far, I need to find a template. I'd like to create little buttons that say things like "Twitter" "Facebook" "HOUZZ" "Book Recommendations" etc. that are all uniform. I realize once I learned how to use a widget I went nuts, and the stuff down the sides is very distracting and busy.

So here's how far I've gone - I switched the side column from left to right. Woo-hoo! Just kidding, it really was literally two clicks of the button. I think it ever so slightly let's you focus on reading the posts and distracts less (I promise I am working on weeding the widgets! There has just been WAY too much good stuff on Bravo this week, and way too much so bad it's good stuff on other channels, like the boring baby talker vs. the straw haired one with bad grammar on The Bachelor).

Also, it was suggested to me that I focus just on pop culture with a little local Atlanta stuff thrown in, just because that's my life. If you read this blog, may I ask why? What parts do you like/dislike? Do you have any suggestions for me? Something you'd like to see more of? Something you'd like to see less of? Do not hold back! It would help me to know the good, the bad, and the ugly, and I have a very thick skin and love constructive criticism. Thank you very much in advance!

Oh, one more thing, I know a lot of my pictures are blurry, because people have told me, but I can't see it! I like to do big pictures when I post, but please let me know when they are really blurry - I'm not sure what is wrong w/ my eyesight BESIDES my near-sightedness, but I don't doubt it's a problem, so please let me know so I can try to adjust them!

THEY'RE BAAAAA-AAAAACK!!!!

2010-03-06T12:00:00.000-08:00

"I couldn't wait to get off that frickin' boat" - Jill Zarin

God, I hadn't quite realized what a complete snoozefest The Real Housewives of O.C. and Kell on Earth are until I caught The Real Housewives of NYC very late Thursday night/Friday a.m. It was DEEELISHHH!I think it was almost as satisfying as the dinner I'd just consumed at my favorite Atlanta restaurant, Kevin Rathbun Steak. This is going to be a long post. Skinny Girl, Jill Zarin, Countless, Crazy Eyes, Dingbat and Co-Dependent Brooklynite are all back for a third season!

If I were Perez Hilton, I'd scribble some horns on her head.

This episode was called "New Alliances". It's a very appropriate title, as not since Nene and Kim stopped being BFFs has such a social shakeup occurred in a Real Housewives cast. While I have not picked sides yet, I'm leaning toward Team Jill. Now, you all know I am a HUGE Bethenny fan and I think she is hilarious, but she's got a few strikes against her with me. First of all, I saw her tweets about her Atlanta event. She had never heard of Grant Hill. That is just wrong. Who the hell doesn't admire Grant Hill, one of the classiest and most talented athletes EVER? I mean, I LOATHE Duke University, especially their basketball team, but I have to give Grant Hill major props. Come on! But more importantly, she seems to be one of those women who will be all over you when she's single, but completely dumps all of her friends when she has a boyfriend. That is not cool. Also, she and Jason call each other "baby" every other word, which is just gross. I hate people who do that. Actually, no one wants to be around people who call each other "baby" (or "mommy", "momma", or "daddy" for that matter. You call your mother "mommy" when you are learning how to talk. If you are a ho, you call your pimp "daddy." If you're gross and you're married to Tori Spelling, you call her "momma").

SCENE I: YACHT PARTY:

Alright, I'm full of it today, moving onto the Come Look at My Ugly HSN Jewelry Yacht Party, hosted by Crazy Eyes. The day begins with a load of backhanded compliments and Ramona saying "renewal" about a thousand times. These ladies have mastered the backhanded compliment. Let's pause to show examples of this...

Perfect Examples of Backhanded Compliments:

COUNTESS: Look at You!

JILL ZARIN: You're very blonde, you're really much blonder than you were. You look great.

JILL ZARIN BEHIND RAMONA'S BACK: Ramona's way to frickin' old to be wearing a bikini...please Ramona, cover up. (makes bulimic vomit symbol right behind Ramona's back, literally)

COUNTESS BEHIND RAMONA'S BACK: I don't think Ramona looks anything like Cameron Diaz.

There's something about Ramona

Jill makes a snarky comment about Ramona hocking her jewelry on the yacht (give me a break, this P. Diddy yacht was probably paid for by HSN and Bravo). I think Simon (gasp!) wrote exactly what I was thinking in his blog, which I summarized in my notes as "Pot meet Kettle":

Ramona’s new jewelry line comes out and then the woman, whose every second word last season was ZZZZZZAAAAAAARRRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNN Fabrics, is shocked that how tacky it is to be showcasing something on a boat. Jill goes on some more and it seems she would have been OK with it if Ramona had been handing out pieces to them all, like ice cubes on a summer’s day.

I love Ramona's new hair. If you are going to have bleached fried hair, a bob with the ends curled under is so much better than ratty past the shoulders straw. Someone needs to send that memo to that Vienna chick that won The Bachelor.

SCENE II: NAKED PETA BETHENNY ON ROOFTOP:

Does anyone BESIDES a reality TV personality ever do a naked PETA campaign? I would be so psyched to find these people wearing fur someday. Anyway, so far we've seen Corey Feldman's ex-wife, Kourtney Kardashian, and Bethenny Frankel featured in this campaign, WITHIN their reality shows.

SCENE ???:A THREE HOUR TOUR, brought to you by Bravo, Patron, and HSN:

OK, I can't wait to get off the frickin' boat either, as tequila shots imbibed inside a moving boat make me vicariously want to throw up, but we have got to deal with the Countess. Obviously she was going through the worst time of her life, her divorce. Well, I suppose you could say "I need to sit this season out as I am going through a painful divorce." Actually, I expect a true etiquette expert to understand this. The Countess is a TERROR this season. I thought LuAnne was really cool the first season, but it's true, all of the sudden she tried to brand herself as THE COUNTESS and became an obnoxious jerk. The more she talks about etiquette, the ruder her behavior becomes. Let's count all of the rude things she did in this episode:

She walked into Ramona's party spouting backhanded compliments and talking about the hostess behind her back.
She picked a fight with Ramona about a comment Ramona's husband Mario made. Take it up with Mario. Countess is always spouting about time and place appropriateness, and she was definitely wrong here. In Ramona's words, Countess "made a mole...made a mountain out of a whole mill."
She cancels drinks with Bethenny and then makes her drive two hours to meet her later (obviously, this little meeting, like most of the interactions between housewives on this show, was a mandatory date arranged by their Bravo parents). Then she starts in on her right away, tells her she needs to pay because she invited the Countess to drinks, and makes fun of Bethenny's car because it has Skinny Girl logos on it.
The way she calls people "sweetheart" means "you pathetic idiot, listen to what I have to say because I belong to a higher caste than you do and I am lowering myself to even speak to you right now."
Goes on the attack, then tells the person she is attacking to "breathe" and to "chill out."

SCENE V: BETHENNY & LUANNE MEET FOR A DRINK & SOME DIGS:

I thought it was so funny that Bethenny promised not to say anything to LuAnne behind her back anymore, and then they immediately cut to her saying she felt dirty and calling her a "dumb drag queen". I'm on Team Bethenny here for sure, and I do believe she'd say any of that, besides "dumb drag queen" to LuAnne's face.

OOPS, SCENE IV, BORING LUNCH:

Alright, although I haven't gone through this in a scene-by-scene fashion, but I think all of the points I wanted to make are in here. Kelly's lunch is not even worth mentioning, but I am going to go Google her arrest, because I forgot all about that situation. Alex minus Simon seems like the most likable one. Jill Zarin - I think she has a big heart, I think she probably does devour you as a friend, but the friendship is probably true. If you aren't her friend, she can be a bit mean, but I do love Jill Zarin. Also, I get the feeling that Sonia is going to be a new housewife, perhaps to replace Bethenny, who is getting her own show (I think - has anyone heard anything?). This is a bad move. These shows need the Nenes and the Bethennys to get the most air time and make everything funny and honest, but on their own I think they may wind up having too much airtime or not enough good people around them. A prime example of this is Kelly Cutrone - she's fascinating and hilarious, but her show sucks.

OH SNAP! I almost forgot. As a small aside, Jill mentions that she sold her Hamptons house "at the top of the market." Really? Because as delayed as these seasons are, I'm pretty sure Wall Street collapsed and many Hamptons houses were vacated LONG before that sale happened. Real estate was crashing before Wall Street did.What's going on there? One thing about this economy is that it is showing us just how economically irresponsible a lot of these people behave in their quest to look keep up with the Joneses. Between the O.C. and Atlanta, there have been a lot of evictions and short sales in the last year, that very easily could have been avoided if people drove last year's model or chose to forgo the diamond Rolex. Speech Over. I will anxiously await Ramona's catwalk debut in Episode seven:

Sorry so blurry, girlfriend was moving too fast to get a good shot.

Also, Bethenny needs to fire whatever makeup artist ad stylist did this to her for Watch What Happens Live. She is a very attractive woman, but here she looks like a drag queen doing Snooki:

Ugh. I'm exhaused. Not even gonna proofread this one because I want to post this. I'll do another post with my notes - a few people told me that they like them, so I'm going to keep posting them until you guys tell me otherwise!

NYC fans, please come chat with me about the show! I know I missed some primo barbs! If you haven't watched it yet, you can turn it into a drinking game by chugging everytime Ramona says "renewed", Countess says "my marriage of sixteen years" and Jason and Bethenny say "baby".

all pictures taken of my tv or from bravotv.com

HALLELUYERRRR!

2010-02-28T08:50:00.000-08:00

I am so happy! My friend Alex of Strawberry Lemonade whipped me up a snazzy new header (see above ;) )- what do you think? I totally love it and it's my first step towards busting out of the basic blog format! It's light years ahead of anything I was trying to slop together in Photoshop. Coming soon, I'll be weeding out all of those distracting widgets down the side. Baby steps, baby steps...

On My Nightstand

2010-02-27T12:34:00.000-08:00

Hey Everyone! Oh my, I'm playing with little headers and such today and obviously that one is WAY too big! This blog is a work in progress! Is it possible to get crisper looking large text at 72 d.p.i.? Or was this just a bad font choice? Color Choice? I welcome advice and criticism with open arms - I need serious technical help over here, so I'm reaching out!

So, I was thinking, whenever I finish a book, I tend to mourn it and not start another one for awhile. Instead, I read trashy magazines for a few nights, especially if it's the weekend and my mailman has delivered my People and Entertainment Weekly that day.

Anyway, I've decided to start letting you know when I'm into a new book and how I like it, and I hope you'll do the same by sharing with me what you're reading and if you like it in the comments. A little pass-along book club, if you will.

This week I am reading How to De-Clutter Your Life in One Week by Erin Doland. I just met Erin online when she graciously agreed to do a guest post on Hatch for our Organization Week. It's funny, the day after we corresponded for the first time, I saw her in The New York Times, and the day after that, Holly Becker mentioned her (either on decor8 or in Blogging Your Way class; I forget which). Did I mention she is the Editor-in-Chief of Unclutterer?

Anyway, this inspired me to catch up on Unclutterer.com and it was there I found out that Erin had written a book. Even though it arrived yesterday, the same day as my People (Carrie Underwood's engagement on the cover - YAWN!), I tore into it last night and got about 2/3 of the way through. It was tough not to get up and start cleaning out my closet immediately, but to use this book, I recommend reading it all the way through first and then using it chapter by chapter.

Erin's tone is fun and she seems very relatable and her guidelines are very clear and easy to follow. She breaks each task down to days of the week. Monday is closet day. I can tell you right now that unless I had about ten hours, I would take several days to do this task. I can also tell you that I'm a hoarder, and clothes are one of my biggest weak spots. I think I buy the same Banana Republic V-Neck sweaters every year in bulk, without implementing Erin's "one in, one out" rule. There must be ten identical black V-neck sweaters in there, some with holes, some turning gray, one pristine one (I hope) in the bunch.

For me, starting with the closet is a great idea. You can physically see that you are purging a ton, you will find all the dirt and grime and broken stuff and forgotten-about stuff and be glad you are cleaning, you will see beloved items visually looking so neat and organized that it will inspire you to organize more and more. Personally, my one pitfall is that Hoarder state of mind: "Oh, I could get $20 for each of these pairs of pants on eBay." Thus, I have closets full of stuff I've said that about!

Anyway, I'm digressing, and could probably go on and on about my closet problems, but instead, back to the book. Erin's advice inspires me to have a neater and cleaner home and lets me know that the newly gained room allows for other wonderful things in life to fill that space that STUFF had occupied. I highly recommend this book, and following along at Unclutterer.com. I'm off to go start cleaning out my closet right now.

Zodiac Needlepoint Pillows at Jonathan Adler

2010-02-27T11:41:00.000-08:00

What's your sign baby? Jonathan Adler never ceases to make me smile - he's come out with a new line of Zodiac Pillows. Ram this one up to number one on my wish list:

Don't fret, there's one for every sign. Check them out here:

If you don't know Jonathan Adler, you MUST get this book. It is absolutely hilarious, and full of groovy chic ideas!

images via jonathanadler.com

Oh What the Heck- Scrabble on Facebook

2010-02-23T15:53:00.000-08:00

I tweeted this already, but I just saw the screen shot while cleaning off my desktop and I thought I'd show it to you here. I LOVE playing Scrabble on Facebook. I will try to make anything be a word. This is my latest look up (wow, wouldn't it have been a great feeling if "SHIZA" had been green!?):

I am a sad excuse of an English Major.

The Sunshine Award

2010-02-23T09:28:00.000-08:00

Thanks so much to Kellie of Cashon & Co. for passing along a Sunshine Award to me! I have no idea if the people on my list have already received one, but I'd like to pass it along to twelve of my favorite fellow bloggers. Thanks for the sunshine!

And now it is my great pleasure to pass this award on to 12 great bloggers that spread sunshine with each new post they create...

Congratulations... now go forth and shine your light!